THANKS :3
~ Rouge
THANKS :3
~ Rouge
Hello nonny!
Yes, we will take more caution if it comes to reader’s descriptions. Thank you for a tip! 🙂
~ Rouge

Bucky Barnes // Winter Soldier
Creator: Rouge
Part II || Part III || Part IV || Part V || Part VI || Part VII|| Parta VIII
|| Part IX
continuation of imagine
Word Count: 3059
Warnings: smut, unprotected sex,
strong language, blood and injuries
Author: Beast
A/N: I’m incredibly sorry fellas for
a such long delay! I got a lot of stuff to take care of and tbh I wasn’t really
into writing Chronicles for some time. But now, with a huge thanks to my lovely lady and my friends, I decided to make this chapter. I hope you’ll enjoy it
as much as I when I was writing it. And here’s what I wanna announce: only two
chapters left. Chronicles will have 12 chapters in all. I hope you won’t mind
them to be a bit longer then ever before.
And for a smut scene, if some of you, my dear readers, would be interested, I
was listening to song made by talented polish vocalist, Kasia Moś. I leave here a link to this song, just in case ♥
Enjoy! 🙂

Steve
had been asleep when he heard the heavy footsteps followed by the door opening;
at first he thought it might have been Emily, but then he realized there was no
way she would ever make that much noise. He had slipped out of bed silently,
shield retrieved from the bedside and brought into a defensive position. A
million scenarios ran through his head, none of them pleasant, especially once
the sharp scent of blood reached him.
To
say he’d been surprised when he saw Bucky in the doorway was an understatement.
He caught sight of the pistol the soldier held once he pushed the door shut
behind him. He’s
going to shoot me, had
been his first line of thought, and not a moment later he felt extremely guilty
for immediately jumping to that conclusion. His body had eased a bit the moment
the pistol was dropped, his own shield lowering and eventually dropped as well.
There was only a moment’s hesitation before he edged forward, closing the gap
between them. He stopped a few yards away, not wanting to make him feel
cornered.
“Bucky?” he spoke softly, tone gentle and
light. His heart skipped a beat when the soldier’s head lifted and looked to
him, but his hope died when he saw his face. His eyes were greyed, dull and
empty and so very tired. The second he saw his legs buckle Steve was right
there, catching him before he hit the ground. He’d expected him to struggle, to
lash out and fight, not to just lie there limp in his grasp. It’d scared him
more than when he’d found his throat clasped in that metal hand. The amount of
blood covering his friend was terrifying; who knew how much he could spare to
lose in his state.
It’d
taken him all of two seconds to get the blood-matted hoody off of the assassin,
exposing a torn shirt and a devastating wound on his shoulder. He dimly
recalled seeing a similar wound on a soldier Bucky had picked off of his back in
the war. A sniper in the city was alarming, but not as surprising as he would
have liked.
“D-don’t do this to me, Buck” Steve was
practically begging, fingers numbed with shock pressed against the wound to the
soldier’s back in a desperate attempt to stem the bleeding. His other arm
gently held him up, cradling him against his body as he tried not to dissolve
into fearful panic.
Is
Hydra after him, or is it Robrax?, Steve thought to himself, trying to
calm down.
Steve put as much pressure as he dared on the wound,
suddenly very conscious of his strength. Bucky looked so delicate like this,
and he wasn’t sure if the bullet had caused a fracture.
“Emily!” Steve yelled. “Em! I need your help!”
Redhead woman stepped into the room and was about to
say something, but she only covered her mouth with hands.
“Buck…” silent whisper left her mouth as she quickly got to her knees besides
him. “Oh God, Steve, what’s with him!?”
“He was shot” Captain said simply, looking around. “I need something, like
material.. We need to stop the bleeding” he ordered coldly.
Girl nodded slightly getting up. She ran to the bathroom and took two towels
from the hangers.
Minutes seemed like hours, but eventually the bleeding slowed. Steve scarcely
cared that his clothes were now stained with it, just relieved that the mortal
danger was now diminished. All towels were completely soaked with Bucky’s
blood.
Captain didn’t waste any time trying to bandage the wound. Getting up and
leaving him was not an option, not even for a moment, so he cannibalized his
own shirt into a makeshift wrapping. He removed the soldier’s shirt first and
then folded up some of the fabric and pressed it to the injury. The bullet’s
possible presence in the wound was dimly acknowledged, but he didn’t have the
skill or tools to safely extract it. He would treat it proper later, but for
now his main focus was to keep the bleeding at a minimum. He broke down his
shirt into strips of fabric, knotting it together and using it to secure the
fabric pad to the wound.
“Steve…” Emily was whispering on and on, her soft hand placed on his shoulder.
“Oh my God… We can’t lose him.. I can’t..”
“Hush” Steve threw her a brief glance, to take care of Bucky’s wound shortly
after.
Throughout the rough medical treatment Bucky hadn’t so
much as twitched. Steve could feel him breathing, and a quick check told him
his pulse was stable, but slower than he would have liked. The serum they had
injected him with might not as been as effective as his, but it was doing a
fine enough job keeping him alive.
“You’re doing great, Bucky” Captain was
fully aware that he likely couldn’t hear him, but it made him feel a little
better to encourage him. He was sure he hadn’t heard a kind word directed
towards him in decades, and the thought made his heart ache. “You’re gonna
be fine, Buck, I promise. Me and Em will take care of you..” his voice
hitched slightly, hands trembling as he gathered the assassin up into his arms.
He considered moving him to the bedroom but decided
against it. Instead he placed him carefully on the sofa, onto his left side so
that his breathing wouldn’t be obstructed and his wound easily reached.
“Emily, can you gather up some medical supplies, some
blankets and a clean shirt, you can find it in my bag” blonde man looked at
redhead woman.
She obeyed. After some moments she came to the little living room and handled
stuff to Steve.
Then Steve hit the light switch. A small lamp flickered on, and the scene it
revealed drew the blood from his face.
The floor was smeared with so much crimson that he doubted the stains would
ever lift. His spare key was abandoned on the floor, near the pistol that Bucky
had dropped earlier. The ruined clothes he’d removed still lay on the floor
next to the towels; he’d be sure to dispose of them carefully. If Hydra really
was who had hurt him, then they would no doubt be looking for any sign of him.
The light cast a horrible realization of just how awful Bucky looked as well.
Now without his shirt, Steve could see every little bruise, every wound that
covered the assassin. His stomach turned in disgusted horror at the painful
past each scar, each little mark told. Old injuries from knives, bullets and
who knew what else were etched into his skin, telling a history devoid of peace
and filled with violence.
A washcloth was produced along with a bottle of
disinfectant, wetting the fabric with it before he went to work on some of the
smaller wounds. He was silently thankful for his unconsciousness, as he was
sure there would be no way to do this had he been fully awake.
The soldier twitched slightly under his fingers as he
worked on an old, infected wound on his side, curling into himself before
letting out a pained whine. The former SHIELD agent hesitated at that, unsure
if he should continue. If he was feeling the disinfectant that meant he had to
be regaining consciousness. If he woke up with him hovering over him, covered
in his blood and with no memory of how he got there, well, Steve wouldn’t blame
him in the slightest if he lashed out. He bit his lip, thinking for another
moment, before he continued to clean the wound, taking care to be a bit
gentler.
“It’s okay, Buck, I promise…” he tried to
soothe, even if he couldn’t hear him yet. “You’re safe, you’re safe,
you’re safe…” he repeated it like a mantra as he finished with the wound,
placing a pad of gauze over it and securing it with a little medical tape.
He didn’t dare touch the bullet wound now that he was capable of feeling pain,
and he was also rather sure he’d need specialized help with it.

Blood
has been cleaned away, Steve dried his hands.
Emily was sitting next to Bucky, holding his hand and stroking it gently.
“It’s them, right?” she asked simply, not paying an attention to look at Steve.
“Hydra?”
He cleared his throat, living the room.
“Probably.”
Steve
went to the little cluttered kitchen and he opened a fridge, pulling out a
bottle of water. He reentered the room and unscrewed the bottle.
“We
need to keep him hydrated” he mumbled, getting on his knees next to the sofa.
Emily
took the bottle and slowly lifted Bucky’s head up. Then she carefully helped
him to take a simple sip, then another and another.
“What’re
we going to do now, Cap?” she asked, her long red hair has fallen on her face.
“I
don’t know… I don’t know…” he sighed sadly, rubbing over his temples. “But it
seems we are not safe also. If they had attacked their OWN SOLDIER, it means
they won’t have any problems to try to kill us either” he shrugged slightly.
Emily
nodded in silence, still stroking Bucky’s palm.
“I
knew.. From the very beginning.. That it will end like this. I hadn’t any other
choice, Steve” she whispered and her voice turned into little weeping. “I had
to join them… I HAD TO..”
Steve
got up from the floor, putting hands at her shoulders.
“No
one of us had” man muttered.

Two
days had passed very quickly.
It
was a really rough time for Steve and Emily, because they had to look after
Bucky and look for a safe hiding place at the same time.
Emily
was spending her time with former assassin while Steve was looking for a good
place and transport.
And
he managed to found something.
From the outside this house looked old, but wonderful.
It has been built with cypress wood and has walnut wood decorations. Small,
squared windows have been added to the house in a mostly asymmetric way.
The house was equipped with a large kitchen and one bathroom, it also had a
comfortable living room, two bedrooms, a small dining area and a roomy garage.
The building was square shaped. The house was fully surrounded by overgrown
wooden overhanging panels.
The second floor was smaller than the first, which, in combination with its
placement, creates an original look.
The roof was high and slanted to one side and is covered with black roof tiles.
A few large windows let in just enough light to the rooms below the roof.
The house itself was surrounded by a modest garden, with mostly grass and a few
small trees.
It was a perfect place to stay for a while until Bucky’s wounds will be healed,
and Steve’s too.

Emily was slowly getting ready to take a bath.
Looking at her pale, slim body covered with a shirt and fitted leggins, she
felt a mix of sadness and distaste. She hated herself for things she had done
to people.
“I hate you” she whispered toward her reflection in the mirror. “I want you to
die, tæve.”
Suddenly she heard the door being
opened and shut quickly. Her heart beat faster as she could hear steps crossing
the corner.
She wanted it for so long… And she couldn’t deny it.
Since the day she helped him with his wounds, she was craving him. So badly.
As she finally saw Steve’s smirking
face, she let out a loud gasp.
“You shouldn’t be in h..”
“Shut up” he interrupted her by pushing her against the wall and locking his
lips with hers. He could feel her resist at first, but he used his tongue to
open Emily’s lips which was when she gave in and kissed him back. They were kissing
each other hard now as his hand squeezed her boobs hard.
After some time, he finally let her breathe. Still gasping for air, she stuttered.
“W-what are you doing?.. What are WE doing, Steve..”
He grinned at her and gave her a soft kiss while taking off her leggins.
“Taking what’s mine, baby.”
He slipped her shirt over her head and threw it on aside, where it’s quickly been
joined by his own shirt. She was still leaning against the wall, still a little
hesitant but definitely turned on as Steve can tell from her glowing cheeks and
her rushing eyes.
“Steve…” she bit her lower lip, looking hardly into his eyes.
She good knew it was one of the
moments, when he wasn’t himself at all. Now he was Captain Hydra, not kind
and polite Steve Rogers. Sometimes it was just like this, that he was loosing
his personality for several minutes or a bit longer. And he was turning into a
mess. She hated such moments, but she had to deal with it.
And now, with that thick sexual tension in between them, she wasn’t even about
to complain. Because she wanted him. She wanted Steve to fuck her senseless
until she would be begging him to stop. She simply needed that.
He grabbed her hand and guided it down his abs into his boxers. As she felt his
hard cock, she let out a loud gasp and pull hand back quickly, but immediately
regaining her confidence, she slided hand down again and firmly grab his cock. She
noticed just now that he had undone her bra while he began to tease her hard
nipples with his warm tongue, circling around and flicking against them.
She began to stroke his cock slowly, as she looked into his eyes, mumbling.
“We should stop, what if HE come in here?”
He laughed quietly, quickly shove his hand into her lacy panties and thrust two
fingers into her already soaking wet pussy. As she started to moan loudly,
Steve immediately covered her mouth with his other hand and whispered into her
ear.
“Can you shut the fuck up now, baby? Unless you want Bucky to catch us now.”
He slipped Emily’s leggins off and turned her around,
pushing her front against the cold tiles before slapping her ass and rubbing her
wet pussy from behind. Steve saw that she was dripping down her leg, so he kneeled
down behind her and start kissing his way up her inner thighs, licking up every
single drop on the way.
Having reached the top, he circled his tongue around the outline of her little
pussy, causing even more wetness. Steve could feel Emily’s body shivered as he
started eating her out.
He digged his tongue deep into her and moved it up and down slowly but firmly. Simultaneously,
his thumb rubbed across her clit, as he heard multiple soft moans escaping her
mouth.
“Steve,
I’m gonna cum.. she moaned.
He stopped licking immediately
and came back up to her face.
“No. You’re gonna cum when I want you to, understand?”
She
suddenly looked worried.
“He must be
wondering where I Am.”
Steve slapped her ass and shoved her against the wall hard.
“You should be worrying about me, nothing else. I’m gonna fuck you now and
you’re gonna be a good girl.”
He took off his pants and threw them into the corner.
As Emily took his cock into her hand and started to get on her knees, he
grabbed her by the neck and pulled her back up, holding her face right in front
of his.
“None of this bullshit, baby.”
He pushed her into the corner between the cold tile wall and a sink and lifted
up one of her legs.
Steve stood in front of her and quickly pushed his hard cock into her dripping pussy
without wasting any time.
Emily’s arms locked around his back and as he started thrusting himself into
her, her nails digged into his butt, causing him to thrust even faster.
As a loud moan tried to escape her mouth again, Captain quickly suffocated it
by kissing her hard. He could feel her body losing control with every increase
of pace. All her sense was his scent, his sweaty, muscular body pushing against
hers, his throbbing cock pounding and stretching her tight little pussy,
hitting her inner walls.
Steve covered her mouth once more as her moans turned into screams.
He felt her body
shivered, then clenched hard around his cock for a second before shaking
uncontrollably again as she bit one of his fingers that was covering her mouth.
Steve pulled out his hard cock and once again Emily tried to get on her knees
to make him cum with her mouth but she almost fell over, still having very
little control of her own body.
He
grabbed her quickly and picked her up.
“Did I say we’re
done?”
She looked a little scared as she saw the burning hunger in Steve’s eyes. He
grabbed her hair and pulled her to the sink, bending her over the counter. He slapped
her butt hard, before he shoved his thick cock into her again from behind.
This time was much quicker.
Steve immediately started to pounding as hard as he only could, while pulling
her head up by her hair so she could see him fucking her in the mirror.
After roughly several seconds, he felt the familiar shivering and clenching,
this time causing him to cum inside her pumping pussy as well.
“FUCK,
STEVE!” she couldn’t hold it any longer and screamed Steve’s name
loudly, not caring if Bucky will hear it.
Steve waited till he felt that every drop of his cum has been shot into her,
then he pulled out his cock. He turned her around, kissed her hard one last
time and smiled. “Good, baby. Now I know what Bucky meant telling me you’re the
rapture” blonde man rushed to put his clothes back on, then he simply left the
bathroom, fastening his belt, leaving Emily shaking and naked.
Trembling all over her sweaty body, she looked after him, then she quickly
closed the door to bathroom and got under the shower.
She felt his semen dripping down her thighs.
Emily allowed the cold water to stimulate her mind and body, pulling her out of
the blissful lethargy after a fulfillment in arms of Captain Rogers.


Words: 1485
Warnings: blood
Author: Cass
Arlene has
been waken up by sunrays.
She growled softly, slowly got up and walked to her suitcase and sighed. “Why I
didn’t unpack it yesterday…” She smiled softly and quickly found grey shirt and
black skirt. “This will be perfect” Arlene said and put things onto armchair.
Then she grabbed her dressing-gown and went downstairs.
“Do you ever sleep?” She asked and smiled looking at her father.
“I had to
get up earlier … Bigger breakfast.” He smiled.
Arlene
nodded “Dad… Can I get a hug?” She asked quietly.
Hannibal
looked at her and walked to her, he slowly took her into his arms. “Something’s
wrong…?” He asked and looked at her, stroking her cheek.
“Nothing… I
just. I missed you dad.” She said and smiled at him.
Hannibal
smiled back and kissed her forehead “I missed you too. I’m glad that my
Sanglante Dame wasn’t caught by Police.”
She nodded
“Yea… Someone got too close to me… I thought that it will be good to be with
Police man… I thought I will have easier access to info… I will know when I
will be able to work and when I need to stay quiet.”
“He got too
close?” Hannibal asked.
Arlene only
nodded “Yea… I was able to manipulate him…. He killed himself and I moved out.”
She said.
Hannibal
smiled and kissed her head “I’m proud.” He said.
Arlene smiled “I will go and wait at breakfast.” Woman said and walked to the
table.
After
breakfast Arlene went to take shower, she brushed her hair and put on clothes
that she prepared earlier, she also put on black high hills and glasses. Then
she walked to her father.
“I think you will be big distraction for my patients.” He smiled.
“Don’t worry dad. It will be fine.” She giggled “Can we go?”
He nodded
“Let’s go.”
Arlene took
her bag and followed her father.
Arlene
walked inside office. Ohhh… How she missed this place. Every small part of it.
She could remember times when her father was showing her his sketches… They
were really brutal like for 12 years old girl. She remembered days that
she spent here with Hannibal. She walked along the wall looking at paintings that
she saw few years ago. Place didn’t change and it was good. In this one room…
There was too many of her memories.
Arlene put
her bag down and sighed softly “So… I better go and look at papers.” She said,
still looking around.
“Just be
quick. I want to have you by my side when patient will come.” Hannibal said.
Arlene
blinked “I’m sorry I though..”
“You will be my assistant. You will be close to me whole time. Patients trust
me… So they gonna trust my daughter.” Man smiled and Arlene nodded slowly
“Okay… Sounds great.”
Arlene
looked at papers, many cases were interesting. She didn’t knew why but only one
name coughed her attention. “Will Graham”. Arlene even didn’t start read when
she heard knocking, she got up from her place and went to open doors.
Man looked confused
“Um… Doctor Lecter… Is He here?”
“Yes I’m.”
He said and smiled at man softly.
Man walked
inside “Good… Who’s this young lady?”
“This is my
daughter. I hope you don’t mind her being here. She is my assistant, She is
studying and I want her to get as much experience as it’s possible.” Hannibal
explained and Arlene smiled at man.
“Oh… No…
No. If this only will help this beautiful young lady then I can accept this. If
she took your path it means she is worth my trust. Like father like daughter.”
Man said happily.
Hannibal
smiled and nodded “Let’s start.”
Rest of the
day was the same. People were coming and leaving. Some of them had normal
problems, some were psychopaths in some points.
Arlene really enjoyed this. She was sitting on couch and listening… Learning
about all of those sick minds.
She had her notebook in hands. Writing down every important thing for her
observation.
Patient after patient… She was listening to the sounds of their voices, she
watched their movements, their faces, but the most important she listened and
watched Hannibal. Studying his every word and move.
After many
hours Arlene finally said goodbye to last person “Good night and see you next
time.” She said politely.
“Tired?”
Hannibal asked and looked at her from his desk.
“Not
really. It was… Interesting. Too bad that this day is over… I could…”
Arlene was cut off by door.
Someone
just walked inside. It was man, not too tall. He had dark curly hair and
glasses.
“Hannibal I
thought I won’t catch you… Who’s that…?” He asked looking at Arlene “Are you
busy?”
“No, It’s
my daughter.” He said looking at man.
“You… You
have daughter?” Man asked, looking really confused.
“There is
many things you don’t know about me, Will. Sweetheart please go close main door
and come back here.” Hannibal looked at Arlene.
Arlene
nodded and went to do what he asked her to.
Now she could recognize that name, she saw it in papers this morning. Arlene
had to admit, he was interesting as a patient… And he was handsome.
She
returned back inside and slowly walked to desk. Arlene sat in chair and took
her notebook, she started slowly write her new notes.
After that
meeting Arlene got up from her seat and walked to her father.
“So… This
is your daughter? My name is Will Graham.” Man said and offered his hand.
Arlene took
his hand “Arlene Lecter.”
Hannibal
looked at them “Will… Tomorrow we have less work to do. I want to invite you at
small dinner 8p.m?”
Arlene
blinked and looked at her father.
“Um, okay. It sounds… 8p.m then. Thank you that I could talk with you and… I
was nice to meet you.”
“You too,
Will.” Arlene said quietly.
When man
left, Arlene looked at Hannibal “I thought you shouldn’t be friends with
patients.” She said.
“He is
other case.” He said and shrugged “Ready to go… We need to get some things at
tomorrow’s dinner.” Hannibal said and looked at Arlene.
Woman
looked at him and smiled “Oh… I will help you with pleasure father.” She said
nodding.
“What he
did?” Arlene asked, looking at fresh blood covering her hands.
“No one
important, really… Man from newspaper… He was really getting onto my nerves…”
he growled.
“That’s
explaining a lot.” Arlene smiled and helped her father.
This was
her favorite part. Hands still covered in warm blood, buried deep inside dead
body.
“You missed
this, sanglante dame?” Hannibal smiled.
“Yes… I
missed this so much. So… Now we cut here… And we have lungs, I need to say he
was a really healthy man. What we gonna do with him?” she asked.
“Don’t
worry about that.” He said watching her.
Arlene
smiled, looking at her hands. She sighed heavily because she couldn’t stop
herself.
Woman started lick the blood off of her hands, Arlene moaned from happiness.
“Merveilleusement!” She said and laughed “Ne peut pas attendre!” Arlene growled
happily and continued to lick blood off of her fingers.
Arlene
cleaned herself up and sighed happily “Mmmm… I love that, I needed that!”
“I knew it
will make you feel better.” Hannibal said and stroked her cheek “Go home… I
will take care of rest, just be careful, Sweetheart.” He murmured.
Arlene
nodded and nuzzled to his hand “I will be careful, father and you have to be
careful too” She said before leaving.
At home
Arlene sighed sadly and shivered. “Too bad that stuff in France got so messed
up.” She growled to herself and went to change.
When she
got downstairs, Hannibal was already in kitchen “Want to help me? We will
prepare meat and it will be great tomorrow.”
Arlene
giggled “You know that blood is more my thing.” She said and walked closer.
“No, thank you, father. I rather would like to watch. You are a Master in
kitchen.”
Arlene
watched his every move. He was so gentle and careful with meat.
He looked
at her “You look tired. Go to bed sweetheart. We have work to do tomorrow and
dinner to make.” He said.
Arlene
sighed softly “You are right father. I will go to bed. I love you.”
Hannibal
whispered. “I love you too sweetheart… Now please go to bed and rest. You
had a hard day.“ With every word he walked closer to her, Hannibal wrapped arms
around Arlene and pulled her closer "My brave little girl.” He whispered,
stroking her cheek “Good night.”
Arlene
nodded “Good night dad.” She said quietly and went to bedroom.
Hannibal
came to bedroom to check on Arlene. He sat on bed and gently touched her cheek
“My good girl, I will need to do something.” Hannibal said and then left the
room.
Summary: You had a huge
argument with Chris once again. Finally, he apologizes and makes it up to you
as much as he is able to. In the way he knows you like the most…
Words: 2773
Warnings: BDSM, rough sex, choking, restraints, teasing, oral sex (female reciving), penetration
Author: Rouge

It was one of your favorite books but still you couldn’t focus on it.
You were trying to read words carefully. But it was harder than you
thought.
You couldn’t imagine anything else, see anything else or pay attention to
anything else other than the fact that you were so mad at him. You were in a
sundress and laying on your hip, leaning on your hand and wrist as it sat
comfortably against your face. The blankets of the bed covered you from the
waist down, hiding your naked legs that were curled together.
Suddenly you heard him as he came up the stairs. He was dragging his
feet. You had wondered when he would have made the effort to apologize and talk
to you.
It must have been close to an hour ago when you both had fought. You had left
the TV room steaming mad while he continued to yell after you, still sitting on
the sofa.
Again, your argument was about you being incredibly jealous of him when he was
on the set.
“I’ve been telling you, Y/N! I did nothing!” he yelled.
“Karen has told me that you were flirting with that little bitch!” you screamed
at him, standing with your back to him.
“Oh, Y/N, c’mon! You really have to go on ice with your silly suspicions!”
Chris rolled his eyes. “She is only my FRIEND!”
“Oh, yea! Friends with benefits, huh!?” you gave him an angry glance before you
quickly left the room.
And now you were laying on your common bed in your common bedroom,
trying to focus on something else than thinking of him probably fucking another
girl.
As he entered the room behind you, your eyes moved up to the wall in front of
you, but your head remained still. You closed your eyes and clenched your teeth
together, listening to him shuffle, still enraged. You forced yourself to
remain calm as you took a deep breath and momentarily relaxed.
He was taking a long time behind you. You assumed he was undressing and getting
ready for bed.
As he remained mute, you anger continued to fuel, as he hadn’t said anything,
not even an apology.
You felt him climb onto the mattress behind you. You swore in your mind, he good knew you were upset and he was
going to bed anyway.
Fuck
you, Evans, you muttered to yourself in your thoughts.
But his arm slithered along your waist.
You huffed as he moved your long hair to the side. He came against you from
behind, also under the covers. You closed your eyes as his breath hit your neck,
then his lips, kissing you softly once and resting the side of his face against
your soft skin.
“Are you still mad at me?”
His voice was apologetic and cute. He was trying to suck up.
You subtly shook your head no once, disappointed. He hadn’t apologized
yet.
You didn’t respond as your eyes returned to the screen you held. You left him
behind you, not wanting to give him the time of day.
As he waited for you to move or speak, his fingers squeezed your side gently,
attempting to flirt and comfort. He watched you breathing as your side rose and
collapsed slowly, but you said nothing.
You read the same sentence again, trying so hard to pay attention. Maybe
the next page would help…
“Babe” he started, “I’m sorry. Please…”
You could hear him shuffle behind you. His hand came off your waist and
you heard his muffled voice, possibly rubbing his face from exhaustion.
“Please, listen to me, Y/N. We can’t do this all night.”
His hand returned to you and his fingers gently pulled at your hair.
“C’mon, babe. Talk to me.”
He kissed your warm neck again, trying to make up for your conversation
earlier – a conversation that would obviously haunt him. You weren’t having his
apology… Yet.
Attempting to seduce you, he ran his full red lips across your soft pale
skin, breathing heavily. His open lips closed on your neck as he kissed slowly,
then again, and again in different spots, leaving a small trail of wet.
It tickled you, but you stiffened, closing your eyes and trying to
ignore his touch.
“You are so beautiful. Your smell is… incredible. I can’t help but kiss
you.”
There was a growl to his voice. It was dark and raspy. You always had a
weakness for it.
You felt his warm wet tongue on the back of your neck as he used it to run over
your skin, closing his lips again and turning the licks into french kisses on your
neck.
You couldn’t deny, it felt amazing. His smell was incredible
too and his touch was heavenly. Maybe make-up sex was the answer you were
looking for…
You decided to see how far he would go to seduce you. He would have to try much
harder than this…
As he tried to convince you, he whispered “Come on babe.” You got
chills but didn’t show the start of your arousal. You wanted to let out a moan
desperately, but you held back.
As he continued to kiss your neck and shoulder, his fingers slid down
your arm and inched under the blanket. His hand reached around and over your
dress, found your slim stomach. He moved his fingers a few times, feeling your
muscle and then slowly bunching the material together in his hand. He was
testing you.
His lips were still grazing the skin on your neck, and you knew your
goosebumps were visible. It was just a matter of time before he saw them,
realizing how his touch was affecting you and ultimately how aroused you were.
He moved his crotch into your ass from behind and you could easily feel
it. He was hard. He wanted you so badly…
You pictured it in your mind. You pictured the way he stroked it for you. You
pictured licking and sucking on it. Even his cock was beautiful.
His bottom lip tickled you as it moved across your skin. You opened your
neck for him.
You tiny movement got his attention immediately and he opened his eyes. He
could see the chills that covered your arm. He smirked and continued to arouse
you with his mouth. And you weren’t quite resisting anymore, but it seemed as
though you weren’t giving in yet, either.
Your eyes were closed as you let him touch you. Your mouth came open and
a small popping sound was heard as your lips came apart. You licked over them,
wanting his lips on yours.
His fingers moved back and forth teasing the skin on you belly, testing your
patience. He released the bunched sundress and it remained in place. His hand
moved under the material, slithering up your skin until he found your breast.
His fingers opened and he caressed over it, then gripped it gently. He squeezed
and felt it over, until your nipple became hard under his hand.
Your head started to roll as your book fell flat onto the mattress in front of
you.
He watched as your head fell down and under his neck.
It was almost as if he had power over you. He smirked proudly.
As you lay on your sides against each other, he let out a type of growl,
realizing you were giving into his touch and knowing he could have you.
He groped and groped at your tit from behind, using the perfect amount of pain
to please you. The beg to his kisses became forceful with intent. He opened his
mouth wider making smacking noises on purpose, fully aware his seduction was
working.
He dragged his lips across your skin, pushing the spaghetti strap off with his
mouth. The gentle fall of the strap onto your bare skin gave you even more
chills and you exhaled loudly with the sensation.
“Mmmmm, Chris…” you murmured slowly.
Chris’ hand moved up to your naked shoulder and rest there comfortably
as he guided you to lay back, kissing you skin as he went. He knew he needed to
cover your mouth quickly before you might vocally resist.
And so he did.
Your lips came together and rolled, as his head came down over yours,
crawling on top of you and dominating over you.
As you kissed, his fingers moved up your arm slowly, following it until
he reached your wrist. He gripped it and pulled, guiding your hand over your
head. He held it in place as he followed your other arm and brought it together
with the first.
He crossed your wrists and continued to kiss you as you let out tiny moans from
his guiding actions.
You had to admit, you loved his kink, and even though you may still have been
mad at him, you couldn’t deny he knew how to turn you on.
Finally his lips came off of yours, but not off your body. As you
breathed deep, his open mouth kissed and sucked on you, moving down your chin
and onto your chest. His kisses were missed between licks and little bites. His
hand gathered the dress material in one hand and his mouth quickly skipped from
your chest to your belly as he held the dress up and continued with wet open
mouth kisses.
“Chris…” you whispered, as you could feel his intent. But it was no use
stopping him even for a second, even if you wanted to, which you didn’t. He
kept working his way downward with his mouth, across your warm naked flesh,
until he hit panties.
You gladly opened your legs for him.
Your red lace material was exposed as he pulled the covers back off your body.
“Chris, hey…” you said louder, but it was too late. His mouth was already
eating you though your panties.
His mouth closed on the material, soaking it with his saliva. You could
feel the heat from his warm mouth even through the panties and the sensation
alone made your cunt burn.
He collected her flesh in his lips and prepared her for what was about to come,
pulling slowly and releasing quickly. His mouth came against the silky material
and he bit gently again, only this time, using teeth.
You let out small bursts of air as his mouth came back to you, worshipping your
pussy. Moans came from your lips as your eyes were closed and your body started
to move for him sexually. Your hips pivoted up into his mouth and you twisted
and turned slightly. He bit you and held as you moaned from the pleasure just
the way you liked and just the way he loved to give.
His fingertips came to the side of your panties and he pulled the wet
material to one side.
“Chris, for fuck’s sake…” you whined.
You bit your lip and gasped as he tongued between your lips, then took
your clit in his mouth. He sucked on it soft at first and then built up pulling
pressure as he sucked.
You were sweet, tender and willing, moving your legs apart for him further and
moaning loudly.
His tongue trailed between your lips, moving deeper and deeper, wiggling lower
while licking. And then he moved deeper and pushed inside. The burning of your
cunt made his wet strong tongue feel cool inside of you.
“Oh, fuck….” you hissed in satisfaction, needing more and wanting him to fuck
you with his tongue. But just as he knew you loved to be teased, he licked up
again, all the way back to your clit.
You gasped and breathed out deep for him, as he loved to hear you in
your arousal.
However, Chris was busy below and didn’t look up.
He worked steadily on your pussy, eating slowly and enjoying every drop you
gave to him, diving deep and teasing your cunt, then licking back up to your
clit.
“You’re fucking delicious, Y/N” he hummed in between his licks, looking up at
you for a second.
Both sets of his fingers went to the top of your panties line on your
hips. He scrunched as much material as he could before pulling down. It wasn’t
until he was ready to remove them entirely, that his lips pulled away from your
cunt just to race back as soon as they were out of the way.
You lifted your hips in the air as he removed your panties.
He buried his face and tongue as deep as he could into your pussy again.
You looked down to see him enjoying your taste.
Your head fell back onto the bed.
“Chris, I’m… Gonna… Cum..” you whimpered softly, biting on your lower lip.
That was his cue. He knew it was time.
He french kissed your pussy quickly. He pulled himself away and got on
his knees, grabbing his erection, ready to push in.
He watched below as his hot red cock slowly moved between your lips and
penetrated your pink flesh. As your wet pussy sucked on his skin as he pulled
out, he watched completely aroused by the site as you stretched for him.
“Fuck…” Chris closed his eyes and gasped as he entered you for the
second time.
He opened his blue eyes and looked to your face. You watched each others
eyes while he entered and pulled out slowly.
He leaned over you while one of his hands gripped your wrists, unnecessarily
forcing them to stay above your head. The other quickly went to your neck and
he squeezed you slightly. Your eyes excitedly opened from delight of his grasp.
You whined for him as he entered you, and held you down. Your chin came up as
you enjoyed his fingers around your slim throat. You were whining for him on
and on.
Seeing your need, Chris leaned down as he repeatedly pushed and pulled
inside of you gently. His mouth came open and your tongues met. Your lips came
together on each others, and then parted slowly.
“..I’m sorry..” he whispered into your mouth.
You hardly remembered what he was apologizing for.
Your mouth remained. You let out another loud moan and motioned for
another kiss. Your bodies were slightly bouncing together with his pushing. You
were already breathing heavy, and wanting to come badly.
“Chris…” you licked your lips. “Harder..”
You gasped and couldn’t help but want to run your fingers over his skin.
So you attempted to free yourself from his grip, but he immediately forced your
wrists back down. You opened your mouth to speak but he gripped your neck
tighter.
You choked once from surprise and whimpered loudly.
“To whom do you belong, Y/N?” he whispered directly into your ear.
You whimpered again.
“To you..” you murmured quietly.
“LOUDER”
Chris ordered, squeezing your throat tightly.
“TO
YOU, CHIRS!!” you screamed his name and Chris smiled proudly.
“Yes.
You belong to me, Y/N. You’re mine” he pushed hardly into your dripping
pussy.
His breath trembled as you finished another kiss.
“I’m fucking sorry, babe…” Chris whispered once again. “You’re the only woman
in my life”.
He took a deep breath and knew he couldn’t hold on for much longer.
“Come for me, Y/N… come on me. Squeeze me… Come..” he whispered out of breath.
And you were already there.
You moaned and moaned loudly as you stared into each others eyes. Your sweet
moans turned to high loud whines, as he felt you squeeze on him tight. You held
your breath and froze as you came. He pushed into you hard and deep watching you.
He gripped your neck tight for your enjoyment. His deep penetration had made
you come hard and slowly, allowing him to enjoy every bit of movement inside as
you squeezed on him.
“Fuck! Chris! Yes!!! YEEES!” you screamed for him.
After he was sure you had finished, he dropped his head pushing in
slowly and hard, enjoying the feeling of being in your completely soaked wet
cunt. His sight came back to your face as you relaxed. He watched you as he penetrated you after your orgasm.
But then, to your surprise, he slowly pulled out and crawled off your
body. He went to your side with a full erection and lay down.
You were amazed. You lay frozen in silence and watched as he placed his
boxers back on in the bed beside you, covering his wet thick hard cock.
He turned to you, smirking. Your face announcing your surprise.
Chris snickered.
“And this is about to happen when you will say ‘I forgive you’.”

Answearing to your questions.
I’m fine, I
feel fine and everything is fine with me.
But to be honest, I’m kinda pissed off by those rude anons. Because it isn’t
first time with such messages and it’s triggering me and rest of my team and
let me explain why.
I just
wanna say one thing: we are not a professionals.
We created this blog for fun. We want it to look good, because we all are proud
of what we have at the moment.
But at the same time we have our own lives and things we have to deal with
outside Tumblr.
To people
who are hiding behind anonymous: don’t make a pressure on us. We won’t be
active here 24 hours per day, because as I said before we also have other
things to do.
And to
people who are supporting us, I wanna say:
I have a
lot of stuff to do with my school, because the end of a school year is near, at
the beginning of this month I’ll become a trainee so I’ll have to focus on my
future work.
Beast just returned to work after long break. He needs to take care of many
stuff too.
Our Rouge
is sick. She had a cardiac arrest and she is in a very bad condition now, she
has problems with her memory and she really needs a time to heal properly,
besides she has to take care of her little baby. We have to remind her some
facts and it is overwhelming to us too.
Ailo is
busy with his work and he is really worried of Rouge and their child.
Anti &
Nad made their own decision about leaving the squad because of lack of time
from their sides.
I can
assure you there will be an update on a page “About us” as soon as we will be
able to take a look on that, probably it will take place yet today.
So once
again.
We are
really sorry for those breaks, but we are glad some people don’t mind them and
are with us still. Life can be brutal and we can’t change it. But we love you
all for all those nice messages and support, you guys are awesome!
And please,
stay tuned, because new stories are in preparation 🙂
~Cass and Beast ♥ ♥
I good know this.
I’m really sorry but We have big problems in our squad. So breaks will be here if we want it or not.
It’s not our fault.
~Cass: I have a lots of work in school +
I am gonna be a trainee for the whole next month
~Beast: Returned to work and Now He need to take care of this.
~Rouge: She is really sick now. She have to take care of herself and she can’t write.
~Ailo: He needs to take care of Rouge and his own job.
~Anti &
Nad: Left us bc They don’t have enough time for us
We will post onlt when We will be albe to.
Right now I’m finishing “Like Father Like Daughter part 2” and I’m writing imagine from SPN
~Cass

A/N: Sooo! It is my first attempt to write something longer… And at the same moment it’s my first attempt to write something longer from Hannibal fandom. Enjoy!
Words: 1018
Warnings:
none.
Author: Cass
She
returned to home after long year. Why? Boarding school in France.
Her mother sent her there because of her unhealthy interests in murder and
crime.
It wasn’t so bad, the problem was that SHE sent her there when she was only 15.
She was glad that she was able to come back home many times but she always
returned there for her father.
Her mother “died” in an “accident” a year after she has been sent there, after
that she wanted return home, but father told her to stay and do what she loved
to. So she did this and stayed there as long as she only could, she finished
school and then started study biology, psychology, criminology.
She was 24 now and because of some “stuff” that went wrong, she decided to take
small vacations. And there was no better place than father’s house.
She
muttered angrily to herself because now she realized that high heels weren’t a
good idea. She was walking dressed only in high heels, short black dress, coat
and scarf, pulling heavy suitcase behind her.
She wanted to look nice, she good knew what was awaiting at house. Fancy dinner
just like every time. She loved to watch how he was cooking, he was a real
master in this.
She sighed
happily when she was standing in front of a door. With a smile she knocked to
them and waited.
Young woman
could feel happiness in her heart when door were answered by her father.
Man smiled at her.
“Arlene, my
daughter.” He said and hugged her.
Arlene smiled and nuzzled to man, with smile and happiness in her heart.
“Yes, I
missed you father.”
“I know, sweetheart. Come in. Dinner will be soon read, I will take you
suitcase.” He said and woman nodded. She walked inside and looked around, while
her father took suitcase to her old room.
Home didn’t change that much, some furniture were new but that was all. There
was no better place than home. Arlene sat down on a couch and looked around,
thinking about last time when she was here.
“Why you
returned so suddenly?” Father asked and sat next to her.
“I just had to… Some stuff went horrible wrong… I had to ran away from France,
I will wait till things get quiet again, then I gonna go back there.” She said
and looked at him sadly “I let you down, father… I’m so sorry.”
Man only smiled and stroked Arlene’s long black hair.
“You never
let me down, you are young. Mistakes are normal.” He said slowly and watched
her face. “You know what… Je t’aime.”
Woman smiled and nodded “Je t’aime aussi, papa.”
He smiled and kissed her forehead “I will be in kitchen.” Man said and left the
room.
Arlene
sighed and got up from couch, she slowly walked to her father’s desk and looked
at many sketches made by him. She picked up and looked at one of them, it was a
sketch of building, It was more than beautiful.
She smiled when she saw signature of her father in the corner of the paper.
“Hannibal
Lecter”
Yes… He was
her father and she was his beloved daughter.
Arlene went
to the kitchen and smiled at Hannibal.
“I missed
you dad…” She said softly and walked to him.
He looked at her and smiled.
“I missed
you too, So you need to stay for longer time.”
Arlene sighed sadly and quickly found wine and glasses.
“Yes… I
really don’t want to be a problem, but things in France got really bad. They
were too close… I made too many mistakes, dad” she said and poured wine into
glasses.
You need a job”
he said and took second glass.
“Job… Or just something with what I will be busy” she said and took sip of
wine. “Wine with special ingredient” Arlene purred “Who this time…”
Hannibal smiled.
“Someone
got too close to some stuff… I had to take care of this person.” He said.
“So… I think today’s dinner… We gonna eat "with” this person.“ Arlene said
looking at him.
"Exactly sweetheart.” Hannibal nodded and took sip of wine.
“About job, I need an assistant. You will be
great.”
“Stay close to my beloved father… I will take it.” She said with happiness.
Later the
dinner time has come. There was no better place than home. Maybe Arlene was
alone with her father but he was her only real family.
Before
sleep Arlene put on short lace nightdress. She sighed softly and looked at
herself in a mirror.
She started make braid looking at scares on her body.
Hannibal
went to room to check on his daughter. He looked at her and smiled, slowly he
walked behind her and put hands on her shoulders.
“Look at
yourself… Real perfection and grace…” he said slowly “Even your mother wasn’t
so beautiful.”
Arlene
smiled and looked at reflection of her father.
“Thank you…
But… Can I ask you something?”
Hannibal
gently stroked soft skin on Arlene’s arms.
“What is
it?”
“I… I will never
end up like my mother? You love me too much… I’m too much like you… Right?” She
asked.
“Of course…
I only couldn’t let her waste such a talent…” he kissed her shoulder. “Now…
Don’t think about her anymore. Je t’aime.” Hannibal said slowly.
“Je t’aime
aussi, papa.” She said quietly. “Good night and see you tomorrow.”
“Good night
sweetheart” he left room.
Arlene
sighed softly and shook her head.
She went to bed, Arlene slipped into bed. It was big bed, woman wrapped herself
in cashmere quilt and nuzzled to pillow.
She was laying like this for several minutes before finally feeling asleep.
Hannibal
was sitting in his room, sketching. When he reached into drawer in his desk, he
found a photo of Arlene’s mother.
Man smiled softly.
“Too bad
you can’t see her now…” Hannibal said and got up. He slowly walkd to fireplace,
“but you would kill such a potential. I couldn’t let you do this.“
Hannibal
said and threw old photo into the fire.

A/N: my
best friend has been diagnosed as borderline. Currently I have an occasion to
spend a lot of time with him, I am also a witness of his anxiety and panic
attacks, of his rage outbursts and incertitude, which is overhelming him on and
on. Looking at him one day a thought came up to my mind: if BPD can be caused
by some traumatic experiences, maybe Bucky was suffering to similar symptoms
also. After all things Hydra had done to him, I suppose he might likely suffered
from this disorder. That’s why I decided to make a little series of bpd!Bucky. The story, all names, characters, and incidents
portrayed in this production are fictitious. Based on a true events.
Words: 1624
Warnings:
self harming, panic attack, bpd, angst, bpd!Bucky, sad!Bucky, depression,
blood, graphic description of violence, swearing
Author: Rouge
It has been a week since he moved to your house.
From the very beginning you were more worried than
happy about that idea of Steve. Despite your positive attitude towards Bucky,
you good knew he may cause a lot of problems.
But on the other hand you understood what Steve has
been going through for last couple of years. Notorious uncertainty, sadness,
sorrow. He was a mess and you wanted to do anything to comfort him.
When you heard that Shield finally found Bucky, alive,
you felt a deep relief. It meant the end of Steve’s mental pain. It meant that
since then everything could have been seen only in a bright colors.
When Steve came to you with his idea of taking Bucky
to your common house, you didn’t even try to hide your dissatisfaction. A lot
of arguments had taken place then in between two of you. But finally Steve
managed to melt your heart and you said yes.
However, keeping the good of your child in your mind,
you ensured Steve that if something wrong will about to happen, you will move
out, taking baby with you. He agreed on that little deal without blinking.
You had to reconcile with a fact your man was sharing
his love at three, not only at two… It obviously was hurting you, sometimes
Bucky seemed to be Steve’s number one, but you had to accept it. They were
friends since childhood, they grew up together, they were fighting together,
arm to arm. In such situation you could do nothing. You didn’t want to hurt
Steve by your listlessness at Bucky’s problems. You knew that man went through
a lot in his life. Like Steve, Bucky Barnes was only a pawn in that brutal
game. Like everyone of you…
When you met him for the first time since 5 years, you
were shocked.
He looked incredibly good, some bruises still could
have been seen at his muscular arm and neck, few scars on his collarbones, a
swollen jaw. But he looked good as for someone who has been tortured for
months.
But something had changed and you easily felt that.
His eyes.
There were no more happiness in them. That beautiful
blue eyes of his, which were glowing with a mischief sparks formerly, now were
dark and bereft the will of life.
“Y/N! Can you hold the door please!?” Steve screamed
aloud.
You got up from the leather sofa in living room and
quickly went to open the door. As soon as you did, you saw several boxes and a
bit of Steve’s bangs above them.
“Do you need help?” you asked amicably, opening doors
as wide as you could.
“No, dear, just hold on them” Steve said. Slowly and
carefully he passed through the threshold and put boxes down in the hallway.
You were observing him for a while, then you sight
fell on someone standing in front of the door.
James Bucky Barnes.
Standing there dressed in a large black leather
jacket, dark jeans and grey shirt, with a black hat on his head, Bucky slowly
raised his chin and looked briefly into your eyes.
“Hi, Y/N” he gave you a small smile, a little wince
appeared on his face.
“Bucky” you smiled happily, whispering his name and
taking step back to make a space for him. “Come in, come in.”
Hesitantly he walked inside and then you closed the
door behind him making sure they were locked.
“Follow me” you gave him another smile and you led him
to the large living room.
It was the biggest room in Steve’s house. One wall had
windows and door leading to a big balcony. The room was painted in light orange
mixed with lime. The floorboards were made of pear tree wood that had a nice,
warm shade. There was a brownish carpet with an abstractive pattern in the
middle of the room. Steve had fitted your common living room with stylish furniture.
There was a big dark brown leather corner sofa on the left. It had light brow cushions.
In front of it, there was an ebony coffee table with sculptured legs and edges.
There also were two brown armchairs. The table were placed on the carpet. Next
to the sofa, there was a tall lamp which metal parts were coloured patina gold.
Opposite to the sofa there was a big plasma TV standing on a stand similar to
the coffee table. Below the TV there was a black DVD player. Right to it, an
ebony case with clouded glass doors could be found. There also was a small
showcase where you put some books, films and wine glasses. Above the sofa there
was a wide painting showing a stunning sunset on a seaside. The windows were
decorated with a short white delicate curtain and fantasy yellow drape. On the
windowsill, there standed a flowerpot with an orchid. Next to it there was a
picture frame with a photo made on your vacation in Dubai. The room was really warm and cosy.
“Do you want to drink something?” you asked politely
when Bucky sat on the sofa.
“Coffee, please…” he looked at you and took his hat off, placing it next to
him.
You walked to the kitchen and put a kettle on a stove.
Suddenly you felt a pair of familiar strong hands at your slim waist.
“Thank you…” Steve whispered directly into your ear,
leaning down to kiss your cheek from behind. “It means a lot not only to me,
Y/N.”
“I know, Steve” you gave a slight nod and slowly turned your head towards him
so you could reach his rough lips and kissed them.
Steve hummed happily at the unexpected kiss, his grasp
got tighten around your waist.
With an agile movement you slipped out of his arms,
pecking his lips.
“He is my friend too, Steve” you said, pouring a
boiling water to the cup with black coffee. “It was obvious I’ll say yes in a respond to your idea” you
shrugged slightly. “I was and am still worried about Sebastian, our child.” you
lifted your chin and sadly glanced at Steve.
He rubbed his chin.
“I know… But he is working on those… Outbursts..” Captain sighed deeply. “Okay. I will move boxes
to his room. They are still blocking the passage through the corridor” he let
out a quiet giggle before he left kitchen.
You took a cup of coffee and came back to the living
room.
“Here you go” you put the cup on the table, smiling at
Bucky and taking a seat in one of the armchairs. “So… How are you, Buck? You
look magnificent” you smirked warmly, crossing your legs.
“I’m doing good lately” he took a sip of coffee,
humming in an approval of the bitter taste. “You’re a real coffee master, Y/N.”
You laughed shortly.
“Oh, thank you! Charming as always, Buck!” you winked
at him.
He woke up in the middle of the night.
For a while he was laying motionless on his back,
glaring up at ceiling.
Then he slowly got up. When he was walking towards
bathroom, he could feel a chill at his bare legs and torso. He had only his
black boxers on.
He entered the bathroom and carefully closed the door
behind him, trying not to make any sounds which could woke you and Steve up.
Bucky
stared at the scars lining his right wrist, observing it as if from a great
distance. Other days he would count them and their meanings, one for every time
they’d hurt him. Every time he hated
himself for lying to people he loved. But it was so easy, too easy for him to
promise them that he had taken the antidepressants.
And now, feeling the scars beneath his fingers, Bucky could picture it so
vividly that he could feel each sharp intake of breath, each tear that slid
from his pale skin. As the bathtub faucet ran cold water over his neck and the
blade glowed crimson beneath his clumsy fingers, his head would tilt back, his
mouth open in silent agony but also perverse joy, because he knew that he
should not be feeling this, doing this, enjoying this as he did. And his anger
exploded with each swift movement of the razor, his pain that so often
destroyed him coating the floor of the tub in sickening contrast to the pale
tile.
He remembered kneeling on this same floor, attacking his biceps until he could
take it no longer and fell back, exhausted, against the bathroom cabinet. It
was few weeks ago, when Steve agreed to doss him when he escaped the hospital
run by Shield.
The urge was so strong that he clenched his fists to keep from reaching for the
blade. It was so tempting. So painfully tempting. Bucky thought desperately of
his wrist again, aching to feel sadness for the delicate skin that he so
readily destroyed. He forced his fingers to stay on the shining tiles, but so
eager was he for the pain.. And he cut the skin once again, observing like a
little stream of redness was pouring down, mixing with a cold water at his
feet. He felt like his skin was burning under the touch of a cold razor, he
felt a bit dizzy because of the blood which was flowing out of the cut.
Bucky chuckled nervously, but it turned into breathless weeping.
He stayed here as long as he had to, until the urge was gone. Because he had to
fight this and he knew that. Because of the five words he kept repeating in his
mind, kept vowing, swearing to himself.
I won’t draw blood tonight.
You must be logged in to post a comment.