
Word Count: 1290
Warnings: sadness, character’s death.
Author: Beast


“…
Y/N, please, you good know I need to be there.”
And as
always his voice was lovingly but yet firm. You raised your head up, looking at
your reflection in a mirror. You were in a bathroom, trying to gather yourself
back in a row. Your eyes were hurting from crying, your cheeks were swollen.
You hated it. Everytime when you have to be left alone in a house, you were
turning into a mess, trying to stop him by all costs. But he never let you to
do it. You knew he loved you the most, like no one else on this world. But he
was a soldier and he also loved his country and was always serving for its
safety.
“C’mon
doll, I don’t wanna say goodbye in that way.”
Obviously
he didn’t want. You were his princess. His everything. And he was suffering
just like you when you both were torn apart, at the two ends of the Word
You
splashed your face with a cold water, then you dried yourself with a towel.
Before you had left the bathroom, you took few small breaths.
And he was
still there, just like you had left him.
Standing in
the middle of a living room, dressed in a black combat pants, black combat
boots and that stunning dark blue coat with two rows of buttons.
You sighed
sadly. “Please.. Listen to me, James..” it was one of that little
moments when you were calling him by his name.
He tried to
not show a kind of a confusion which was crawling on his face, but he failed.
“Y/N, really, do you trust me?” he asked. You nodded without a
hesitation. “I do.”
Bucky took
few steps towards you and as he stopped few centimeters from you, he reached
his hands and took your face in them. “So now listen to me carefully,
doll” brunette asked Simple
You nodded
slightly, looking into his beautiful blue eyes.
“You
are the most important person in my entire life. I love you more than anything
else. My love towards you is unconditional, you know it. But I’m a soldier,
Y/N. I’m obligated to serve for my country. And nothing and no one can change
it, doll. I know you’re scared. So am I, but it’s my duty and I have to follow
orders” he slowly swallowed, sighing shortly after. “I will be back
soon, doll face” his thumbs were slowly stroking your cheeks while he was
talking to you.
You let out
a quiet whimper and put your hands on tops of his rough palms.
“I
know, James.” And you knew. He was a good man and he loved his country.
And you couldn’t just say “no.” It would be too hard for him to leave
when you two would be resentful at each other.
You took a
deep breath and stroked over blue material at his shoulders. “Be careful,
tiger. Get ‘em and come back to me..” you clenched your fingers at
material of his coat, closing eyes for a second to hide tears.
He leaned
down to you and kissed slowly each of your eyelids. Then he hugged you tightly
to his chest and you both were standing like this, listening to each other’s
heartbeats.
Bucky
finally kissed the top of your head and he said how much he loves you once
again, before he took his backpack and threw it over his shoulder. Then he left
your house, stopping for a second to give you a look.
“You’re
my everything. No matter how far I am, I am always thinking of you. And I will
always love you and protect you, no matter what..” he said before he left,
quietly closing the door behind him.
You quickly
went to the kitchen and you shifted a curtain aside to look after him.
He put his
backpack to a trunk of a huge Jeep and before he got in, Bucky turned around
and looked at you once again.
You put
your hand on your chest, waving at him with second one. He waved back and blew
you a kiss.
And after
that he was all alone with the other guys from his unit. Guns, gear, and
sadness everywhere. The reality of the separation was quickly becoming real and
the six months in front of him before he would be home again seemed like an
eternity.
Bucky was
sitting at the backseat. His hand wandered to the pocket of his jacket. He
blinked and he pulled out a silver necklace with a pendant. Bucky opened it and
he smiled softly. He was looking at your little picture, it was taken by him on
your first common anniversary. Bucky sighed and put necklace on his neck.
“I love you, Y/N” he mumbled under his breath, looking through the
window.
Five weeks
later you heard a knocking to the door. You got up from the couch and walked to
open the door.
You held
your breath back when you spotted Steve Rogers. “S…. Steve..?” you
asked with trembling voice. “Morning, Y/N…” he whispered, crumpling
his hat in his hands.
You were
observing him with wide opened eyes. “Steve…” you leaned your hand
against the door frame. “It’s about Bucky..” his voice was a mixture
of fear and sadness. “We.. There was an accident during our operation…
I… I couldn’t do anything else..” Rogers was stammering. “Steve..
Come in, we won’t be talking in the open door” you moved aside, making a
space for him.
Steve
entered your house with a hesitation. You led him to the small living room,
where he took a place on the leather couch. You sat down next to him, your
heart was pounding in your chest. “Steve.. Just tell me what had
happened..” you asked him, putting your hand on his shoulder. “No
matter what you’re gonna say, I’m gonna take it..”
He
hesitated for few long moments which seemed to be an eternity to you.
“There
was an accident.. We were chasing Hydra.. We were in a train, a fight had
started…” Steve was fretful while he was talking.
You felt
like your body started to tremble. “Where is James..?” you simply
asked.
“He
fell off the train.. I am so sorry, Y/N… I am so so sorry…”
You
automatically covered your mouth with both hands and second later your started
sobbing loudly. “Oh my God… Oh my God!!” you yelled with all your
might.
Steve
wasn’t waiting, he slowly wrapped his arms around you, taking you in a hug.
“It is
hard for me too, Y/N… I know… Hush… I know..” he was whispering,
stroking over your trembling back.
“God…
Steve! I won’t rub along without him!” you were crying loudly.
“Shh… You won’t be alone with that.. I promised him if something will
happen I will take care of you..” Steve was rocking you in his strong
arms, calming you down. “Everything’s gonna be alright..”
Three days
later there was a funeral. A symbolical one, because Bucky’s body hasn’t been
found. His coffin was wrapped in American flag.
Steve was
standing next to you, trying to give you as much support as he only could.
Later,
after the ceremony, Steve walked back to the car, you asked him for a few
moments alone.
Walking in
the direction the main gate of the cemetery, you were thinking of events
from last few days. And about your last talk with Bucky.
You stopped
for a while at the little knoll and you turned around to look at the grave of
James. You sighed sadly, wiping the single tear from your cheek.
“Always,
James. I will always have you in my heart. Rest in peace, my love..”










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