What have I done !? || Bucky x reader one shot

Words: 1133

Warnings: major character’s death,
slight cursing, a lot of sadness & angst

SUMMARY: Bucky’s still in a shock
after a misadventure, as a result of which Captain America has died. Reader’s
trying to comfort him, even when the fault is on Bucky’s side…

Author: Rouge

A/N: story has
been written for the writing challenge made by @letsimagineitall

It was painful to see
him like this. All you could do was embrace him and let the torrent of his
tears to soak through your shirt. You could feel him clench his fists, not
knowing whether to be mad or to give up hope all together. You could hear him
silently screaming, suffocating with each breath he took holding onto his
pride. You ran your fingers through his hair, time and time again, in an attempt
to calm the silent war within his mind.

“Everything’s gonna be alright, Buck.”
You slowly stroked his muscular shoulder trying to comfort him as much as it
was possible.

“Go away,
Y/N!”
Bucky pushed your hand away aa he rose from the couch and went apace to the
huge window with a view on the city below.
He leant his metal forearm against the glass and let out a loud sigh wiping his
tears off.

You hesitated. You weren’t sure how will he react, when you will try to get
close to him again. You good knew he was a ball of anger now.
But you found a courage and slowly rose from the couch. You headed towards him.

“Don’t, Y/N.”
It sounded like an order, so you stopped immediately.

“Bucky.. Darling…”

“Shut your fucking mouth, Y/N!”
Bucky yelled loudly and went out of the room.

Instinctively, you’ve followed him.

He slammed into the bathroom door. Bucky didn’t care if you saw. He just broke
down. The sobs punched through, ripping through his muscles, bones, and guts.
Man pressed his forehead against the grimy stall door and began to let his
heart yank in and out of his chest.
His life crumbled in his fingertips.

You weren’t scared at that point. You knew you have to do everything. To calm
him down.

“Bucky” you mumbled quietly as you approached him. Your hand was
placed on his nape where you stroked him. “Calm. Down. And talk with
me.”

You were kinda surprised, when he didn’t pull away from you.
And when he sank onto his knees, you did same, embracing his shoulders.

He sobbed into your chest unceasingly, hands clutching at your shirt. You held
him in silence, rocking him slowly as his tears soaked your chest. A tiny lapse
let him pull away, blinking lashes heavy with tears, before he collapsed again,
his howls of misery worsening. The pain must have come in waves, minutes of
sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling him
back into the outstretched arms of his grief.

“Hush, Buck… It wasn’t your fault, darling” you said in the most
mild tone you could ever make.

“I wanna disappear” he whispered quietly as he breathed heavily.
“You should be pretending you don’t know me. You should stay away from me.
I’m dangerous. It would be better if you would just erase me from your life,
Y/N..”

“I can’t just forget you. That’s not how it works” you told him
unhesitatingly.

He closed his eyes, his head has rested on your laps.

As you were stroking his nape, you let your thoughts flow at ease.


Two days before was the saddest day ever.
Bucky has killed Captain America.
It was nothing more but a misadventure.
Both men were on the mission to Serbia. There, they branch has been attacked by
enemies. They were taken by surprise.
Bucky managed to escape from under the firing. Of course, he was trying to come
back for Steve. He found his pal, when Captain was attacked by heavily armed
enemy soldier.
Trying to help his friend, Bucky took the aim and shot. He was aiming to the
foe.
But the other one was much faster. Guy pulled Captain ahead, using him as a
shield.
The bullet went straight through Captain’s chest, piercing his aorta.
The second man disappeared, when the chaos has reigned.
Bucky, being in panic and shock, was about to do something to save his friend.
But it was too late…


“B.. Buck…”

 

“Hush.. Oh God, hush, Steve. You need to stay
conscious. Do you hear me? Focus. Natasha!!
For fuck’s sake! Quickly!”

 

Steve choked
with his own blood.

Oh God! Steve! STEVE! Motherfucker, don’t ya
dare to close those eyes!”

 

Steve reached
hand placing it in Bucky’s metal arm.

“Don’t…. D… Blame.. Yourself..”

 

“Shut up, pal. You need to stay calm.
Everything’s gonna be alright!”

 

Steve closed
his eyes.

Bucky pressed
the wound on his friend’s chest with his bionic hand.

“No! No! No! Rogers, you old prick, don’t do
this to me!! Natasha!!! You fucking
bitch, move your fucking ass up here! Steve’s dying!”

 

“Buck.. Cold.”

 

Huge tears
rolled over Bucky’s cheeks.

“Steve. I beg you. Stay with me. You have to
stay with me, brother. I won’t make this without you! We’re brothers under the
Sun.. Remember?”

 

“Mmmmhmm… Ah.. ..It’s burning..”

Captain’s
voice was nothing but a quiet whisper, although his lips seemed to not move at
all.

“Hush, Steve, I’m with you, pal.. Oh God, what
I’ve done..”

 

“…mmmmm.. I’ve… Accepted it.. Don’t…. Buck… It…
Feels… Like…….. Mmm.. Home..”

 

“Steve?! Dear God!! Steven!?”

 

Captain’s
chest stopped to move.

“I won’t forget you…” Bucky, trembling all over his body,
reached with his metal fingers to Steve’s eyes and he slowly closed them down. “You’ll never be replaced…
Forgive me..”

Captain America has passed away in Bucky’s arms.


“I’m a monster. How can you even look at me?” his voice has broke
down. “I’m a fucking murderer. It will be better if you will forget me.
Forget us.”

“I won’t.”
This time you hissed angrily.
“You know I love you. No matter what. We are a couple. I’ll be with you
for good and for bad.”

He nuzzled to your knees.
“Look. Imma mess. I’ve let all those people down.. I’ve let myself down.
I’ve killed Captain. I’ve killed my friend.. I’ve murdered him…”

You wanted to slap him in the face. He was pissing you out with blaming
himself. It was an accident. And everyone knew it.

“I will never leave your side. We’re in this together.”

As you touched his yet wet cheek, he shivered under your touch.

“Will.. You won’t leave?” he raised his chin to look you in the eye.

“Never. And I won’t forget you. You’re the best thing in my life.”

He nodded.


You woke up in the middle of the night after a terrifying nightmare.
Instinctively and blindly, you touched the second part of your bed.

You let out a sigh of relief, when your hand rested on his bionic limb.
He was there. He didn’t run away.
It was a sign. That he was trusting you. That was the most important.
You knew a hard time was about to come.
But you were prepared. Not only for yourself.

Mostly for him.

Believer || Part I

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Words: 1910

Warnings: none at all

SUMMARY: MCU Crossover With Tomb Raider 2013

Request by: Anonymous

Author: Rouge

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“Come here, boys! We have fresh meat over here!”

The man had appeared out of the foliage with barely a rustle of his announcement. His clothing was weather worn and threadbare, a suggestion of a harsh life. He could see stains of questionable and queasy origins spattered here and there, dark like ink but not with the same texture, not at all. His hair was dark and greasy, his scratchy beard thick. The leer in his eyes and the crooked smirk weren’t welcoming either. He had a gun. Bucky recognized it simply because he had grown accustomed to their sight over the many years.

He was alarmed when he began to pick out more bodies emerging into sight from the darkness of the forest, some up high on overhanging precipices; several were in trees, and the rest on the ground, flanking the first man. Some had rifles. Others, pistols. He even noticed, oddly enough, some were armed with bows and arrows.

All were aimed at him.

“If this is your welcoming committee, then I shudder to think about the reception of guests you fail to successfully entertain. This is rather poor in taste, if you ask me.”

The first man, the leader of the ragtag bunch, scowled and spat out a curse at him. It took Bucky a moment to realize he had spoken Russian, the dialect heavy as the syllables growled over one another. It took him another to realize what the man had said.

“Fucking smart ass. I’ve shot men for less insult.”

He jerked the gun in his hand, pointing a vague direction for Bucky to move. Bucky didn’t. Instead, he addressed the man in his apparent native tongue. “Where are you taking me?”

The Russian was unimpressed at being addressed in his mother tongue, even if he did give pause.

“Move!”

The weapon’s hammer was cocked back for emphasis, a loud and unsettling click that cleaved the very air with its sound. He startled when one of the men suddenly pitched forward with barely a grunt and hiss of air issuing from his mouth. He fell forward, his weapon—a rifle—clattering to the forest floor with a loud clatter, tangling in the undergrowth. An arrow protruded from the Bucky man’s backside.

The Russian barked at his men, stirring them into action and they scrambled into organized chaos. The Russian turned on him, the barrel of the gun reestablished on him. He hissed away, stalking forward to close the gap between him and Bucky.

“She’s come for you, boy,” he growled, a dark light sparking in his eyes. “I’ll kill you before she gets a chance to even see your face.”

The gut punch had the taller man doubling over, wheezing heavily at the strike. Bucky wasn’t aiming to kill or maim the man, simply disarm him and relocate. The Russian’s grip on his gun hadn’t broken, but he was too busy catching his breath to notice. He never got the chance to, either.

Another arrow whizzed out from the dark and struck the Russian’s neck, punching through from back to front, an arrowhead sprouting out of his throat. The gun fell from abruptly limp fingers, and then the Russian followed suite with a strangled gurgle. Bucky stumbled back, in horror and shock. The light in the Russian’s eyes went out and he wheezed his last breath, blood bubbling from the oozing wound as he collapsed on his face.

The forest fell silent and it was in that moment he realized all the men that had appeared from nowhere were dead.

All of them.

An unsettling silence had Bucky over the forest, and the shadows around him seemed to grow darker, longer, reaching for him. The hairs on the back of his neck rose up and stood at attention while an icy shudder snaked its way down his spine.

His metal arm reached his vest’s pocket and pulled out a handy knife. The dark blade was gleaming in what little light the moon above provided. The familiar weight of a tactic vest settled around his shoulders, providing a comforting sense of security and protection as it did.

He felt eyes on him, but how many and from where, he wasn’t too sure. He just knew that whoever killed the men, they were still here. Bucky didn’t have long to wait. He whirled at the first sign of movement, but he stopped short of himself in surprise at what he faced.

It was a slip of a young woman, much smaller than he was. She was dressed sensibly enough to move fast and not allow herself to be caught up by snagged clothing. It was all form fitting without being too tight on her, she had grey tight cargo pants, a striped shirt which probably was white in the past, pair of a hiking boots. There was a bulk to her build and Bucky saw why. The silhouette of knives strapped at her sides, a rifle on a sling over her shoulder, a quiver of arrows belted at her hip, and a bow held casually in one hand, a pistol in the other. She cleared the area with the pistol, watching for any unwanted movement before holstering it at her back when she deemed it safe.

She had beautiful, big brown eyes and smooth skin. Bucky noticed a little bruise at her cheek. Her little nose was adding kind of a charm to her figure. She slowly rised her brow, glaring at him.

The woman ventured closer, her posture still tense but it had relaxed greatly in comparison to the few steps she had taken when she arrived. She was showing she wasn’t an enemy by holstering her weapons, but she would still ready at the drop of a hat to jump into action if things went south. He could sense all of that just by the way she held herself.

She slowly reached to sling the bow on a holster on her back, leaving her hands open and free. Her eyes never left him.

“These men would have killed you if I hadn’t intervened. The Solarii aren’t known for their kindness and mercy. Negotiating with them is impossible when they’ve been trained to kill without hesitation. Especially if it looks like you’re going to fight back.” She started in way of greeting. The woman tilted her head to the side. “Surprised they delayed so long in shooting you. Good thing they did. Gave me time to get here.”

He was still tongue-tied at the suddenness of the events that had transcended within the span of a few sparse minutes.

She turned, motioning for him to follow.

He trailed after her with uncertainty in his steps. “Wait… wait! Where am I? Who are these Solarii? And what’s your name?”

The woman craned her head to peer over her shoulder at him. Her gaze was steady and even, unfaltering as she studied him. They passed through the undergrowth for several minutes in silence before she answered him.

“You’re on an island called Yamatai. It’s in the Dragon’s Triangle, west of Japan. The Solarii are…shipwreck survivors. They’re a band of murderers that have laid claim to the island, killing or recruiting any men who wash up on shore. They burn any women they come across.”

A sour taste coated the back of his throat and his stomach turned uneasily at that. He didn’t remember how he’d gotten here, and he wondered if he was alone.

I think I am, but…no. Please don’t let the others be here.Steve. Sam. Natasha.

“Have…have there been any others…?” He couldn’t finish. The woman seemed to take that as a cue.

“Like you? No. You’re the only one I’ve come across, dressed as you are.”

There was little relief in her answer. It only meant he was the first, and that the others might very well be here.

The woman unclipped something from her belt and waggled the item. It was an oval-shaped device, black and ringed with perhaps a white or yellow stripe. A thin tube stuck out from its top.

“The Solarii get riled up when others are spotted on the island. No doubt they’ve already gotten on the horn and started bleating like the mindless sheep they are to others on their radios about you.” She continued as they began climbing up a small incline. The trees were thinning, and there was a path up ahead, and it looked like there was an old bridge they could cross. “You’re the only one right now. If there were others, I would have heard about them on this.”

He didn’t feel very reassured, even with that statement. A thought occurred to him.

“You never told me your name.”

They came across the bridge. It might have once been painted a pleasing, imperial crimson red, but time had taken its toll on it. Still, it was intact and spanned over the length of a small pond. The night critters had begun their hushed chorus and he had barely noticed until then.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“But then, what do I call you? My name’s James Barnes, but more often I’m called Bucky.”

When she walked, she was quiet. She moved with the purpose to be as quiet as possible. He sought to do the same, in case they ran into any more of those Solarii men. He didn’t fancy having another dozen guns pointed at his person, thank you very much.

“Lara. Lara Croft.”

He stopped halfway across the bridge, startled.

“There’s a way off?”

She paused at the end of the bridge and turned a little to view him more properly. “Yes. There’s a boat. I’ll have to fix it, but I need to take care of a few things first.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“No. I mean..” She hesitated. “Not by now at least.  have a safe place where you can stay” she offered, shrugging slightly.

She eyed him a little more critically, her mouth pulling into a shrewd, thin line. “Trained fighter or not, I’m not risking a stray bullet hitting you in the head.” Lara crossed her arms at her chest, rolling her eyes. “Besides.” She took a look at his metal hand. “It shoulkd be useful to defend yourself. But you were just standing there, like a child lost in the mist” a sad smile crawled at her rosy lips as she was speaking.

Lara gave a small nod and turned, motioning him to keep following.

“I can help” he pressed insistently. “Please. At least lemme help with something. You saved me.”

“No, you can’t by now.” She said it in such a matter-of-fact tone, it grated on his nerves. He started after her, silence be damned if it meant catching up.

“And how do you know? You don’t know me, or what I can or can’t do. I can do quite a lot. I killed a lot of people..” Bucky growled loudly, streatching his metal fingers.

She glanced at him as he dropped back, his steps faltering until he stopped. “If you could kill, then you would have done so back there. Those men would have been dead before I met up with you. That’s how I know you can’t do what I need to be done by now to get us out of here. It’s kill or be killed on this island. But for now,” she looked around, sighng, “let’s get to the hideout. It’s gonna rain.”

A very popular Tumblr post asserts that white people can be controlled with cheese. In Steve’s case, it’s New York-style cheeseCAKE.

imaginesteverogerss:

Steve should have known this would happen.

All he did was answer a simple question from a seven-year-old with big, brown eyes and curly hair.

“What’s your most favorite food?”

“Cheesecake,” Steve offered easily.

Her eyes grew impossibly larger on her face. “Really? My mommy told me it was broccoli.”

“Uh-” Steve stuttered, imagining hoards of angry parents swarming Avengers tower. “I love broccoli! I eat it whenever I can, but I’d do anything for a big slice of New York cheesecake. Even eat two plates of broccoli first!

The little girl smiled, satisfied with his answer.

“Hmm…” Steve heard behind him. He turned to see Natasha, Sam and Tony squinting at him. He sighed. Things were about to get real annoying real fast.

Xxx

Steve could reach out and grab the plate if he really wanted to, but he happened to know that Pepper’s favorite vase was in front of him. If he did reach out, Tony would lurch away and Steve would probably end up breaking the vase. He liked Pepper too much to do that to her.

“Say ‘please’!” Tony chides.

“No.”

“I know you want it. Come on, just say it.

“No! That’s my cheesecake, Tony. You stole it when I went to the bathroom.”

“Okay,” Tony says. Then he grins. “Say ‘Tony’s my favorite Avenger’, then.”

Steve rolls his eyes. Tony tries again. “Say ‘I hate freedom’.” Which just makes Steve roll his eyes once more. He sighs and turns to leave the room. Eventually Tony will get bored enough to leave his cheesecake alone. He went all the way to his favorite bakery in Brooklyn today to get it. He’s willing to wait to eat it in peace. He’s halfway to the doorway when he hears, “Okay, I’ll just eat it.”

Steve sprints back into the kitchen, getting up in Tony’s space so quickly that he takes a step backwards. Steve grits his teeth and makes the meanest face he can muster. “Tony’s my favorite Avenger.”

Tony’s eyebrows lift in surprise. “Thank you. Enjoy your cheesecake.” He hands Steve the plate and smiles.

Steve sneers and leaves the room, cheesecake in hand.

Xxx

“I need a favor,” Sam says.

We need a favor,” Natasha corrects.

Steve looks up at his them, annoyed already. “What?”

“Well,” Sam starts. “You know how I go to the park in Harlem every Saturday with my old high school buddies? I may have entered an ultimate frisbee competition.”

“And I may have joined him last weekend and- Steve- the guy from the other team is an asshole. All of them are, actually.” Steve wonders for a second how Natasha found herself at a park in Harlem with Sam making competitive enemies, but he figures the story is too weird for even him to wrap his head around.

“And?”

“And we happen to know the guy who’s the world’s best frisbee player,” Natasha tells him, tilting her head and giving him an innocent smile.

“It’s not a frisbee-”

“It’s basically a frisbee, Steve,” Sam says. “Come on, help us out! It’s two against eight right now.”

Steve sighs and even though he already knows he’s going, he lies. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll buy you an entire cheesecake,” Natasha says quickly.

“I’ll have my mom make you another one!” Sam adds.

Steve smiles. “I could never resist one of Darlene’s cheesecakes. Count me in.”

Nat and Sam high five.

Xxx

Bucky nudges his shoulder. Steve groans, rolling over to stuff his face in the mattress. It can’t even be 7 in the morning yet. He’s pretty sure he just went to bed.

“Hey, punk. Wake up.”

“Ten more minutes.”

“We gotta go feed Natasha’s cat. You know we can’t be late. She’ll kill me. If I go alone, the cat will kill me. Wake up,” Bucky tells him. “Plus, I got you cheesecake for breakfast.”

Steve shoots out of bed. “Let’s go feed the cat from hell. Bring a napkin.”

A walking disasters

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WORD COUNT: 

1098

SUMMARY: Steve and Bucky talk about
feelings and stuff while the Avengers have a water fight.

WARNINGS: none

AUTHOR: Killer raccoon

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“Won’t your fella get jealous?”
Bucky asked suddenly, whip sharp grin placed firmly on his face, looking so
familiar Steve ached. It was scary how easy it was for Bucky to look like Bucky
again, like the Winter Soldier, like the plane crash, like the 21st fucking
century didn’t happen. Steve should’ve liked it, he knew, but he didn’t.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Tony gets
jealous when strangers on the street propose. It doesn’t bother him when I spar
with Natasha or when I run with Sam. This, us, doesn’t bother him at all.”

“You’ve got a good thing going here
don’t you,” Bucky huffed, eyes closed and head tipped back against the
wall. Steve shifted grappling for any sort of comfortable position on the rock
hard couch. Tony had warned him that all the furniture in this room was
designed to make people look regal, not make them comfortable. It was the only
room in the mansion left untouched from Tony’s childhood.

“Yeah, I do” Steve looked at
Bucky from where he was sitting side ways against the arm of the couch,
“better with you here though.”

“You know I’m never going to be just
Bucky Barnes right?”

“I know you haven’t been talking to
your therapist.”

“And who’s bright fucking idea was
that? A therapist? Really? You think after decades of being the most talented
killer alive – and shut the fuck up Steve, I killed people, we both know I
killed people – you really think I’d just be fucking dandy with spilling all my
secrets to some idiot with a clipboard and orders to take me out when I get
aggressive?”

“I know you won’t ever just be Bucky
again, I know you’re Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier, but you’re still my friend.
You’re still my fucking family,” Steve burst out suddenly. “Please
tell me you know that.”

It was deathly quiet in the room before
Bucky spoke again, out of the corner of his mouth, like he was too tired to
talk properly, “Nathasa’s stronger than people give her credit for. So’s
Tony.”

“People give her a lot of credit. And
you know she hates it when you call her that,” Steve said mildly, not
commenting on the remark.

Bucky grinned his shark smile again.
“No, she doesn’t. And don’t think I didn’t notice you ignoring what I said
about him.”

Steve sighed, felt the air come up from his
diaphragm, filling his lungs and his mouth. “I’m just glad you stopped
calling him Stark. Why?”

“Why what…”

“Bucky,” Steve ground out.

“They make living with blood on your
ledger look easy,” Bucky breathed out suddenly. Steve paused, stomach in
his throat when Bucky turned to him again, suddenly vicious. “You won’t
tell them this, ya hear? Last thing I need is more fucking pity.”

“Of course I won’t tell. I’m surprised
you’re even talking to me right now. But we both know they would be the last
people to pity you. They know what you’re going through.”

“You’re saying you don’t?” A
challenge.

“I’ve killed people-”

“You’ve killed Nazis,” Bucky said
with a bark of a laugh. “Nazis don’t count as people.” Steve could at
least agree with that.

“You know, I miss being the stubborn
one in this friendship.”

“I’m not talking to them. It’s a
different situation entirely.”

“I thought you said they knew what it
felt..”

“Never like this. Never like me.
Fucking Tony didn’t even know what was happening with his company, how does
that compare to this?” He turned to Steve, desperate, “I trained
Natasha, trained her to be a murderer. What does that say about me?”

“It says something about the Winter
Soldier. It says that you were brainwashed.”

“I killed his parents, did he tell you
that? Blew up their car, slit his mother’s throat while she was screaming.
Stabbed his father for good measure. And if you tell me that’s okay, if you
make excuses for me, I’ll fucking deck you.”

“I don’t need to tell you that it was
wrong. You think I don’t know you’re thinking of running away again? The guilt
eats away at you. The Winter Soldier didn’t know what guilt was because he was
fucking brainwashed. You were tortured Bucky.”

“I killed so many innocent
people.”

“You killed people. Innocent people
and we both know you can’t make up for that. There isn’t anything you could
possibly do. That’s not how it works.” Steve was so tired of this, tired
of how complicated this was, tired of morality and honor and redemption.
“You do good and you wait until there’s enough good to not make the bad
crawl under your skin like palladium,” Steve quoted. Tony was strangely
poetic at the 3 in
the morning, all ruffled hair and tight breaths. “I just want you to be
happy. Don’t we deserve that? After all the second chances we’ve been given,
don’t we at least deserve that?”

Silence again. Steve stared out the window
opposite him, Bucky’s silhouette barely blocking the view. Everything here
really was excessive, slightly more so than even by Tony’s usual standards. He
wondered idly how he could go about sketching the exact way the light snagged
on the leaves of the topiaries in the garden outside.

“I’m not going back to that
therapist.” Steve waited him out, could taste the capitulation on his
tongue. “But we could do this more often. Just. Talking.”

“Yeah?”

“How many more times do you need me to
say it?” Bucky grinned suddenly. “Age catching up to you,
Rogers?”

“Screw off Bucky,” Steve laughed,
shoving him roughly. “I’m really, really happy that you want to talk to
me,” he couldn’t resist adding.

Bucky made a face, “How does Tony
stand all this earnestness?”

Steve smirked, “You really want to
know?”

“Oh fuck no, never mind. Still can’t
believe how filthy you are now, Christ.”

“The army does a number on scrawny virgins.”

“It also does a number on beefed up
super soldiers.” Bucky shot him another look, that ‘I know you’ look that
gave Steve dizzying hope.

Steve looked out the window again, at their
teammates, their friends, running past, equipped to the teeth with various
water shooting weapons. Bucky followed his line of sight and chuckled suddenly.
“Tell me how I got roped into living with a bunch of 9 year olds.”

“Hey! I’m at least 12,” he said,
moving to get up. “How bout we go and show them how it’s really done?”
he asked, smirking.

“As long as you and Tony keep your
hands to yourself.”

“No promises.”