Ești în siguranță acum || Bucky x Reader smut

Words: 2022

Warnings: Smut ♥

SUMMARY: Bucky had one of his nightmares. Reader is comforting him and in the end they have a passionate sex to get rid of all bad emotions.

Author: Cass and Beast.

It was one of those nightmares, where he
was completely paralyzed. He couldn’t make any single move, he barely could
breathe. He saw a field, everything was in snow and blood. His hands were in
blood. He could nearly smell that specific metal scent… He raised his head
and noticed few soldiers, their rifles were aimed at him and then was a huge
bang.

Bucky yelled, sitting at the bed, he was all covered in a cold sweat, trembling
all over his half naked body.

You could feel all of his chaotic moves, whole bed was moving because of him.
You could hear every heavy breath, every sound that left his mouth.


You quickly sat, when you heard the loud scream, you looked at your boyfriend,
you were scared.
“Bucky… Bucky, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Nightmares again?” You asked and
gently wrapped your arms around his trembling body.

“Yea… Again… Third time in last two weeks.” Bucky hid his face in
his palms, trying to massage his own temple. “It all.. It’s haunting me.
All over again” he mumbled quietly, sitting still in same position.

You looked at him sadly and moved to sit in front of him. “But… Shhh.. Please.”
You said quietly and pulled his hands away from his face. You slowly wrapped
his arms around yourself and moved to him closer, only to hug him as tight as
you only could. “It’s okay now. This was only a nightmare, but it’s fine now.
I’m with you, Ești în siguranță acum.” You whispered into his ear, stroking his
wet hair.

You looked strong, you wanted to be strong for him, because he needed that.
However, inside, your heart was ripped apart as every time before, when you saw
him in such condition. It was always hurting you, but you still tried to smile
to support him.

Bucky lowered his chin to avoid eye contact. “I know.. It was only a
dream.” He trembled again, feeling a cold shiver running along his spine.
Bucky slowly wrapped his still trembling arms around you and he nuzzled to your
chest. “Thank you, Y/N.. It’s.. It feels like a home when you’re cuddling
me..”

You smiled sadly, trying hard not to cry. “You are in home, Bucky… everything
bad is gone. You are safe in your own house.. With your own woman.” You said
and took his face into your hands, you looked at him with smile. “My James… “
You gently stroked his cheeks.

He pressed a messy kiss to your lips. Then he nuzzled to your chest again,
holding you as close as it was possible.
His breath has calmed down after few minutes.
“You’re warm..” he slowly rose his chin to look into your eyes.
“And so so pretty, doll..”

You purred happily and kissed him back.
You were sitting with him, gently stroking his hair, you felt happy by hearing
how his breath is calming down.
You looked at him and smiled. “Thank you, you are so handsome.”

Bucky looked straight into your eyes, none of hesitation in him. He kissed you
again, this time pulling you onto his laps. He placed his metal hand at your
back, running his metal fingers up and down along your spine. “I love you,
Y/N.”

You kissed him back and wrapped arms around his neck.
You shivered, feeling cold metal on your back, then you looked at him. “I love
you too, Bucky.” You whispered and kissed him again.

Bucky kissed you deeper than before, and he didn’t stop until he had air in his
lungs. He broke the kiss only to take a deep breath, and then he kissed your
lips again, slowly rolling into sheets with you and pinning you down with his
weight.

You took deep breath and you returned
the kiss again. You whimpered softly, when you found yourself laying
under him. “B… Bucky. What are you doing?” You asked quietly, looking into his
eyes.

He broke the kiss again, he trembled a bit before he opened his mouth to speak.
“I love you.. I think I’ve never let you know how much you mean to
me..” he placed a kiss to your forehead. “Lemme make you feel as good
as you do this to me always when I am in need..” his lips slowly traveled
to your neck and to the pulse point.

You nodded slowly and bite your lips gently, just by his kisses you felt like
in heaven, even after situation like the one from few minutes before. “Bucky…”

Not taking his lips from your skin, he hummed. “Mmmm?”

You sighed happily. “I love you too.” you whispered.

He gently shifted your legs aside to lay down comfortably. He slowly sucked on
your pulse point while his hand wandered to reach your breast.

You muttered softly, moving your body because of all the feelings. You felt so
good with him, you felt warm, you felt safe and loved.

Bucky, trying to be careful, slowly massaged your breast through his shirt you
were sleeping in. He moved from your neck to kiss your lips again. “You’re
mine..”

You nodded and whimpered softly. “Yes… I’m only yours… take me Bucky, please.”
You growled.

He couldn’t catch proper breath, his hands were shaking when he was undressing
you. When he took your shirt, he moved down, leaving a wet trail at your skin.
He slowly sucked on each of your nipples, letting his free flesh hand travel to
your panties and then under them.

You couldn’t help, it felt so good. A small moan escaped your mouth, you slowly
moved your hands into his hair.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are, Y/N? You’re a living
goddess.” He slowly caught your nipple with teeth and pulled it up a bit
to suck it in next second. He also rubbed over your pussy, slowly and gently,
moving his fingers from the bottom to the top of your clit.

You bite your lips hard, moving your legs because of sudden sensations.
You could feel, how wet you were and with every move you were even wetter.

Bucky kissed your breasts for one last time before he traveled down, licking
his way to your panties. He spread your legs and slowly moved his tongue up and
down your pussy through the lacy material.

You whimpered loudly and looked at him. “Fuck! Bucky… Please… I need you.” You
said and moved your hands at his strong shoulders.

Bucky smirked a bit, shifting your panties aside and burying his face between
your folds. “Mmmm… So delicious..” he murmured, sending vibrations
to your clit.

You arched your back and whimpered even louder. „God… Bucky…” You only grabbed
his hair and pulled them gently. You felt so good right then, you put your legs
onto his shoulders.

Bucky’s tongue was swirling around your entrance while his metal fingers
started to rub over your clitoris. “Good girl..” he hummed deeply,
not stopping even for a second. He gently sucked on your pussy’s lips, looking
up at you.

You gasped and only used your legs to pull him even closer to you. “Bucky…
please.. I need you inside me…”

But Bucky only smiled at you, he was never about to leave you undone. He licked
two of his metal fingers and with his eyes on your face, he gently pushed them
into your pussy, starting to move them in and out. At the same time he slipped
his second hand into his boxers to stroke over his yet hard cock.

The feeling of his fingers inside of you made you whimper his name, you moved
your hips a little. You looked at Bucky and then at his cock, you licked your
lips gently.

You could feel that you were slowly getting closer to your climax.

Bucky had his mouth half open, seeing how good you felt. Admiring your perfect
shapes, he slipped his fingers out for a while to lick them. “Jesus, Y/N,
you’re fucking tasty, babe.” He slipped them back into your pulsating sex,
but he also pushed his tongue in. You could easily see, how a bulge in his
boxers was getting bigger with every moment.

Bucky also felt that he was nearing his climax. He slipped his tongue and
fingers out of you and he knelt between your legs. In rush, he shifted his
boxers to his ankles. Man took his cock into his hand, and he gave it few long
strokes, then he just slipped himself into you

You watched him and gasped loudly when you felt him deep inside your clit, you
grabbed his shoulders and moaned. “Fuck… it feels sooo good… Your big, thick
cock feels so good inside me, Bucky.”

Bucky got his rhythm in a second. He was pounding in you strongly and quickly,
stretching your clit with his length. “Oh, shit.. Shit… Fuck.. Oh fuck..
Oh fuck..” he closed his eyes, letting the desire overwhelm him. He leaned
down and kissed you deeply, fucking you to the brim.

“Fuck… God, Bucky.” You whimpered and kissed him back, you slowly wrapped your
legs around his waist.
He was like a machine, moving in his own steady pace. You moaned into his
mouth, grabbing his hair.

Bucky took a hold of your waist, slipping his cock as deep as it was only
possible.
“Fuck.. So tight, so wet.. Shit!”
Bucky’s cock started to throb, so he slipped out of you only to switch
position. He laid himself behind you, placing you on your side and pulling your
one leg up to bend it over his strong thigh while he pushed his cock back into
your pussy.

You whimpered at the feeling of emptiness, you watched him and how he was
moving to place himself behind you.
You moaned happily, feeling him inside you again, then you gasped softly and
moved your hand to rub your pussy. You slowly added one of your fingers to make
yourself full along with his cock, moaning loudly.

Bucky was kissing your nape at that moment, bucking his hips faster and faster,
going deeper and deeper with each movement. “Yes baby, my good girl, holy
fuck!” brunette wrapped your arm around his neck, so he could lick one of
your boobs. His cock was throbbing after few long moves. “Babe.. Y/N.. Oh
my fuck, doll, I’m gonna cum..”

You could feel, how close you were. „Fuck… Bucky… I’m so close… please, cum
inside of me.” You whimpered.

Bucky grabbed your chin and turned it around to him, he french kissed you,
going fast in and out of your pussy. He slipped his hand between your thighs to
rub your clit at the same time. “Fuck.. Fuck.. FUCK!!!” he finally
yelled, shooting his load deep inside your wet core.

You screamed his name and kissed him back, you moaned loudly into his mouth
when he touched your clit.
“Fuck… Bucky.” You whimpered, when your climax hit you hard.

He rode his orgasm with few additional moves, then he stopped, still inside
you, enjoying the pleasure and wetness of your pussy. “My God..” he
whispered quietly, looking desperately for your lips. “It was… You
were.. Dear Lord.. Doll..”

You whimpered happily and kissed him. ”.. Amazing sweetheart.. I know, you
were amazing..“ You purred against his neck.

He brushed his rough lips against your soft one, then he slowly pulled out of
your core. "Fuck..” he moaned loudly, taking his cock into his hand
and giving it few more strokes. “My girlfriend is the best..” he then
laid his back on his side of the bed.

You sighed softy and nuzzled to him. „How
do you feel now, James?”

“Amazing.. Relaxed.. Fulfilled..”
he mumbled quietly, closing his eses

You kissed his cheek. “Let’s go to
sleep now, sweetheart. I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N” Bucky
smiled, covering both of you with a blanket. “Sweet dreams, doll. And..
Thank you. For being with me always when I need this.”

You hugged to him and sighed slightly.
“I’m always here for you, Bucky. Always.” You said and closed your
eyes. You quickly fell asleep in his arms.


Gif: I just found it in my computer 😐 

YOU BELONG TO ME || CHRIS EVANS X READER SMUT ONE SHOT

Summary: You had a huge
argument with Chris once again. Finally, he apologizes and makes it up to you
as much as he is able to. In the way he knows you like the most…

Words: 2773

Warnings: BDSM, rough sex, choking, restraints, teasing, oral sex (female reciving), penetration

Author: Rouge

image

It was one of your favorite books but still you couldn’t focus on it.

You were trying to read words carefully. But it was harder than you
thought.
You couldn’t imagine anything else, see anything else or pay attention to
anything else other than the fact that you were so mad at him. You were in a
sundress and laying on your hip, leaning on your hand and wrist as it sat
comfortably against your face. The blankets of the bed covered you from the
waist down, hiding your naked legs that were curled together.

Suddenly you heard him as he came up the stairs. He was dragging his
feet. You had wondered when he would have made the effort to apologize and talk
to you.

It must have been close to an hour ago when you both had fought. You had left
the TV room steaming mad while he continued to yell after you, still sitting on
the sofa.
Again, your argument was about you being incredibly jealous of him when he was
on the set.
“I’ve been telling you, Y/N! I did nothing!” he yelled.
“Karen has told me that you were flirting with that little bitch!” you screamed
at him, standing with your back to him.
“Oh, Y/N, c’mon! You really have to go on ice with your silly suspicions!”
Chris rolled his eyes. “She is only my FRIEND!
“Oh, yea! Friends with benefits, huh!?” you gave him an angry glance before you
quickly left the room.

And now you were laying on your common bed in your common bedroom,
trying to focus on something else than thinking of him probably fucking another
girl.

As he entered the room behind you, your eyes moved up to the wall in front of
you, but your head remained still. You closed your eyes and clenched your teeth
together, listening to him shuffle, still enraged. You forced yourself to
remain calm as you took a deep breath and momentarily relaxed.
He was taking a long time behind you. You assumed he was undressing and getting
ready for bed.
As he remained mute, you anger continued to fuel, as he hadn’t said anything,
not even an apology.
You felt him climb onto the mattress behind you. You swore in your  mind, he good knew you were upset and he was
going to bed anyway.
Fuck
you, Evans
, you muttered to yourself in your thoughts.

But his arm slithered along your waist.
You huffed as he moved your long hair to the side. He came against you from
behind, also under the covers. You closed your eyes as his breath hit your neck,
then his lips, kissing you softly once and resting the side of his face against
your soft skin.

“Are you still mad at me?”
His voice was apologetic and cute. He was trying to suck up.

You subtly shook your head no once, disappointed. He hadn’t apologized
yet.
You didn’t respond as your eyes returned to the screen you held. You left him
behind you, not wanting to give him the time of day.
As he waited for you to move or speak, his fingers squeezed your side gently,
attempting to flirt and comfort. He watched you breathing as your side rose and
collapsed slowly, but you said nothing.

You read the same sentence again, trying so hard to pay attention. Maybe
the next page would help…

“Babe” he started, “I’m sorry. Please…”

You could hear him shuffle behind you. His hand came off your waist and
you heard his muffled voice, possibly rubbing his face from exhaustion.
“Please, listen to me, Y/N. We can’t do this all night.”
His hand returned to you and his fingers gently pulled at your hair.
“C’mon, babe. Talk to me.”

He kissed your warm neck again, trying to make up for your conversation
earlier – a conversation that would obviously haunt him. You weren’t having his
apology… Yet.

Attempting to seduce you, he ran his full red lips across your soft pale
skin, breathing heavily. His open lips closed on your neck as he kissed slowly,
then again, and again in different spots, leaving a small trail of wet.

It tickled you, but you stiffened, closing your eyes and trying to
ignore his touch.

“You are so beautiful. Your smell is… incredible. I can’t help but kiss
you.”
There was a growl to his voice. It was dark and raspy. You always had a
weakness for it.
You felt his warm wet tongue on the back of your neck as he used it to run over
your skin, closing his lips again and turning the licks into french kisses on your
neck.

You couldn’t deny, it felt amazing. His smell was incredible
too and his touch was heavenly. Maybe make-up sex was the answer you were
looking for…
You decided to see how far he would go to seduce you. He would have to try much
harder than this…

As he tried to convince you, he whispered “Come on babe.” You got
chills but didn’t show the start of your arousal. You wanted to let out a moan
desperately, but you held back.

As he continued to kiss your neck and shoulder, his fingers slid down
your arm and inched under the blanket. His hand reached around and over your
dress, found your slim stomach. He moved his fingers a few times, feeling your
muscle and then slowly bunching the material together in his hand. He was
testing you.

His lips were still grazing the skin on your neck, and you knew your
goosebumps were visible. It was just a matter of time before he saw them,
realizing how his touch was affecting you and ultimately how aroused you were.

He moved his crotch into your ass from behind and you could easily feel
it. He was hard. He wanted you so badly…
You pictured it in your mind. You pictured the way he stroked it for you. You
pictured licking and sucking on it. Even his cock was beautiful.

His bottom lip tickled you as it moved across your skin. You opened your
neck for him.
You tiny movement got his attention immediately and he opened his eyes. He
could see the chills that covered your arm. He smirked and continued to arouse
you with his mouth. And you weren’t quite resisting anymore, but it seemed as
though you weren’t giving in yet, either.

Your eyes were closed as you let him touch you. Your mouth came open and
a small popping sound was heard as your lips came apart. You licked over them,
wanting his lips on yours.
His fingers moved back and forth teasing the skin on you belly, testing your
patience. He released the bunched sundress and it remained in place. His hand
moved under the material, slithering up your skin until he found your breast.
His fingers opened and he caressed over it, then gripped it gently. He squeezed
and felt it over, until your nipple became hard under his hand.
Your head started to roll as your book fell flat onto the mattress in front of
you.
He watched as your head fell down and under his neck.
It was almost as if he had power over you. He smirked proudly.

As you lay on your sides against each other, he let out a type of growl,
realizing you were giving into his touch and knowing he could have you.
He groped and groped at your tit from behind, using the perfect amount of pain
to please you. The beg to his kisses became forceful with intent. He opened his
mouth wider making smacking noises on purpose, fully aware his seduction was
working.
He dragged his lips across your skin, pushing the spaghetti strap off with his
mouth. The gentle fall of the strap onto your bare skin gave you even more
chills and you exhaled loudly with the sensation.
“Mmmmm, Chris…” you murmured slowly.

Chris’ hand moved up to your naked shoulder and rest there comfortably
as he guided you to lay back, kissing you skin as he went. He knew he needed to
cover your mouth quickly before you might vocally resist.
And so he did.

Your lips came together and rolled, as his head came down over yours,
crawling on top of you and dominating over you.

As you kissed, his fingers moved up your arm slowly, following it until
he reached your wrist. He gripped it and pulled, guiding your hand over your
head. He held it in place as he followed your other arm and brought it together
with the first.
He crossed your wrists and continued to kiss you as you let out tiny moans from
his guiding actions.
You had to admit, you loved his kink, and even though you may still have been
mad at him, you couldn’t deny he knew how to turn you on.

Finally his lips came off of yours, but not off your body. As you
breathed deep, his open mouth kissed and sucked on you, moving down your chin
and onto your chest. His kisses were missed between licks and little bites. His
hand gathered the dress material in one hand and his mouth quickly skipped from
your chest to your belly as he held the dress up and continued with wet open
mouth kisses.

“Chris…” you whispered, as you could feel his intent. But it was no use
stopping him even for a second, even if you wanted to, which you didn’t. He
kept working his way downward with his mouth, across your warm naked flesh,
until he hit panties.

You gladly opened your legs for him.
Your red lace material was exposed as he pulled the covers back off your body.
“Chris, hey…” you said louder, but it was too late. His mouth was already
eating you though your panties.

His mouth closed on the material, soaking it with his saliva. You could
feel the heat from his warm mouth even through the panties and the sensation
alone made your cunt burn.
He collected her flesh in his lips and prepared her for what was about to come,
pulling slowly and releasing quickly. His mouth came against the silky material
and he bit gently again, only this time, using teeth.
You let out small bursts of air as his mouth came back to you, worshipping your
pussy. Moans came from your lips as your eyes were closed and your body started
to move for him sexually. Your hips pivoted up into his mouth and you twisted
and turned slightly. He bit you and held as you moaned from the pleasure just
the way you liked and just the way he loved to give.

His fingertips came to the side of your panties and he pulled the wet
material to one side.
“Chris, for fuck’s sake…” you whined.

You bit your lip and gasped as he tongued between your lips, then took
your clit in his mouth. He sucked on it soft at first and then built up pulling
pressure as he sucked.
You were sweet, tender and willing, moving your legs apart for him further and
moaning loudly.
His tongue trailed between your lips, moving deeper and deeper, wiggling lower
while licking. And then he moved deeper and pushed inside. The burning of your
cunt made his wet strong tongue feel cool inside of you.
“Oh, fuck….” you hissed in satisfaction, needing more and wanting him to fuck
you with his tongue. But just as he knew you loved to be teased, he licked up
again, all the way back to your clit.

You gasped and breathed out deep for him, as he loved to hear you in
your arousal.
However, Chris was busy below and didn’t look up.
He worked steadily on your pussy, eating slowly and enjoying every drop you
gave to him, diving deep and teasing your cunt, then licking back up to your
clit.
“You’re fucking delicious, Y/N” he hummed in between his licks, looking up at
you for a second.

Both sets of his fingers went to the top of your panties line on your
hips. He scrunched as much material as he could before pulling down. It wasn’t
until he was ready to remove them entirely, that his lips pulled away from your
cunt just to race back as soon as they were out of the way.
You lifted your hips in the air as he removed your panties.
He buried his face and tongue as deep as he could into your pussy again.

You looked down to see him enjoying your taste.
Your head fell back onto the bed.
“Chris, I’m… Gonna… Cum..” you whimpered softly, biting on your lower lip.
That was his cue. He knew it was time.

He french kissed your pussy quickly. He pulled himself away and got on
his knees, grabbing his erection, ready to push in.
He watched below as his hot red cock slowly moved between your lips and
penetrated your pink flesh. As your wet pussy sucked on his skin as he pulled
out, he watched completely aroused by the site as you stretched for him.

“Fuck…” Chris closed his eyes and gasped as he entered you for the
second time.

He opened his blue eyes and looked to your face. You watched each others
eyes while he entered and pulled out slowly.
He leaned over you while one of his hands gripped your wrists, unnecessarily
forcing them to stay above your head. The other quickly went to your neck and
he squeezed you slightly. Your eyes excitedly opened from delight of his grasp.
You whined for him as he entered you, and held you down. Your chin came up as
you enjoyed his fingers around your slim throat. You were whining for him on
and on.

Seeing your need, Chris leaned down as he repeatedly pushed and pulled
inside of you gently. His mouth came open and your tongues met. Your lips came
together on each others, and then parted slowly.

“..I’m sorry..” he whispered into your mouth.
You hardly remembered what he was apologizing for.

Your mouth remained. You let out another loud moan and motioned for
another kiss. Your bodies were slightly bouncing together with his pushing. You
were already breathing heavy, and wanting to come badly.

“Chris…” you licked your lips. “Harder..”

You gasped and couldn’t help but want to run your fingers over his skin.
So you attempted to free yourself from his grip, but he immediately forced your
wrists back down. You opened your mouth to speak but he gripped your neck
tighter.
You choked once from surprise and whimpered loudly.
“To whom do you belong, Y/N?” he whispered directly into your ear.
You whimpered again.
“To you..” you murmured quietly.
“LOUDER”
Chris ordered, squeezing your throat tightly.
“TO
YOU, CHIRS!!”
you screamed his name and Chris smiled proudly.
“Yes.
You belong to me, Y/N. You’re mine”
he pushed hardly into your dripping
pussy.

His breath trembled as you finished another kiss.
“I’m fucking sorry, babe…” Chris whispered once again. “You’re the only woman
in my life”.

He took a deep breath and knew he couldn’t hold on for much longer.
“Come for me, Y/N… come on me. Squeeze me… Come..” he whispered out of breath.

And you were already there.
You moaned and moaned loudly as you stared into each others eyes. Your sweet
moans turned to high loud whines, as he felt you squeeze on him tight. You held
your breath and froze as you came. He pushed into you hard and deep watching you.
He gripped your neck tight for your enjoyment. His deep penetration had made
you come hard and slowly, allowing him to enjoy every bit of movement inside as
you squeezed on him.

“Fuck! Chris! Yes!!! YEEES!” you screamed for him.

After he was sure you had finished, he dropped his head pushing in
slowly and hard, enjoying the feeling of being in your completely soaked wet
cunt. His sight came back to your face as you relaxed. He watched you  as he penetrated you after your orgasm.

But then, to your surprise, he slowly pulled out and crawled off your
body. He went to your side with a full erection and lay down.

You were amazed. You lay frozen in silence and watched as he placed his
boxers back on in the bed beside you, covering his wet thick hard cock.
He turned to you, smirking. Your face announcing your surprise.

Chris snickered.
“And this is about to happen when you will say ‘I forgive you’.”

GIF

THE SILENT SHOUT || PART I

A/N: my
best friend has been diagnosed as borderline. Currently I have an occasion to
spend a lot of time with him, I am also a witness of his anxiety and panic
attacks, of his rage outbursts and incertitude, which is overhelming him on and
on. Looking at him one day a thought came up to my mind: if BPD can be caused
by some traumatic experiences, maybe Bucky was suffering to similar symptoms
also. After all things Hydra had done to him, I suppose he might likely suffered
from this disorder. That’s why I decided to make a little series of bpd!Bucky. The story, all names, characters, and incidents
portrayed in this production are fictitious. Based on a true events.

Words: 1624

Warnings:
self harming, panic attack, bpd, angst, bpd!Bucky, sad!Bucky, depression,
blood, graphic description of violence, swearing

Author: Rouge

It has been a week since he moved to your house.

From the very beginning you were more worried than
happy about that idea of Steve. Despite your positive attitude towards Bucky,
you good knew he may cause a lot of problems.

But on the other hand you understood what Steve has
been going through for last couple of years. Notorious uncertainty, sadness,
sorrow. He was a mess and you wanted to do anything to comfort him.

When you heard that Shield finally found Bucky, alive,
you felt a deep relief. It meant the end of Steve’s mental pain. It meant that
since then everything could have been seen only in a bright colors.

When Steve came to you with his idea of taking Bucky
to your common house, you didn’t even try to hide your dissatisfaction. A lot
of arguments had taken place then in between two of you. But finally Steve
managed to melt your heart and you said yes.

However, keeping the good of your child in your mind,
you ensured Steve that if something wrong will about to happen, you will move
out, taking baby with you. He agreed on that little deal without blinking.

You had to reconcile with a fact your man was sharing
his love at three, not only at two… It obviously was hurting you, sometimes
Bucky seemed to be Steve’s number one, but you had to accept it. They were
friends since childhood, they grew up together, they were fighting together,
arm to arm. In such situation you could do nothing. You didn’t want to hurt
Steve by your listlessness at Bucky’s problems. You knew that man went through
a lot in his life. Like Steve, Bucky Barnes was only a pawn in that brutal
game. Like everyone of you…

When you met him for the first time since 5 years, you
were shocked.

He looked incredibly good, some bruises still could
have been seen at his muscular arm and neck, few scars on his collarbones, a
swollen jaw. But he looked good as for someone who has been tortured for
months.

But something had changed and you easily felt that.

His eyes.

There were no more happiness in them. That beautiful
blue eyes of his, which were glowing with a mischief sparks formerly, now were
dark and bereft the will of life.


“Y/N! Can you hold the door please!?” Steve screamed
aloud.

You got up from the leather sofa in living room and
quickly went to open the door. As soon as you did, you saw several boxes and a
bit of Steve’s bangs above them.

“Do you need help?” you asked amicably, opening doors
as wide as you could.

“No, dear, just hold on them” Steve said. Slowly and
carefully he passed through the threshold and put boxes down in the hallway.

You were observing him for a while, then you sight
fell on someone standing in front of the door.

James Bucky Barnes.

Standing there dressed in a large black leather
jacket, dark jeans and grey shirt, with a black hat on his head, Bucky slowly
raised his chin and looked briefly into your eyes.

“Hi, Y/N” he gave you a small smile, a little wince
appeared on his face.

“Bucky” you smiled happily, whispering his name and
taking step back to make a space for him. “Come in, come in.”

Hesitantly he walked inside and then you closed the
door behind him making sure they were locked.

“Follow me” you gave him another smile and you led him
to the large living room.

It was the biggest room in Steve’s house. One wall had
windows and door leading to a big balcony. The room was painted in light orange
mixed with lime. The floorboards were made of pear tree wood that had a nice,
warm shade. There was a brownish carpet with an abstractive pattern in the
middle of the room. Steve had fitted your common living room with stylish furniture.
There was a big dark brown leather corner sofa on the left. It had light brow cushions.
In front of it, there was an ebony coffee table with sculptured legs and edges.
There also were two brown armchairs. The table were placed on the carpet. Next
to the sofa, there was a tall lamp which metal parts were coloured patina gold.
Opposite to the sofa there was a big plasma TV standing on a stand similar to
the coffee table. Below the TV there was a black DVD player. Right to it, an
ebony case with clouded glass doors could be found. There also was a small
showcase where you put some books, films and wine glasses. Above the sofa there
was a wide painting showing a stunning sunset on a seaside. The windows were
decorated with a short white delicate curtain and fantasy yellow drape. On the
windowsill, there standed a flowerpot with an orchid. Next to it there was a
picture frame with a photo made on your vacation in Dubai. The room was really warm and cosy.

“Do you want to drink something?” you asked politely
when Bucky sat on the sofa.
“Coffee, please…” he looked at you and took his hat off, placing it next to
him.

You walked to the kitchen and put a kettle on a stove.
Suddenly you felt a pair of familiar strong hands at your slim waist.

“Thank you…” Steve whispered directly into your ear,
leaning down to kiss your cheek from behind. “It means a lot not only to me,
Y/N.”
“I know, Steve” you gave a slight nod and slowly turned your head towards him
so you could reach his rough lips and kissed them.

Steve hummed happily at the unexpected kiss, his grasp
got tighten around your waist.

With an agile movement you slipped out of his arms,
pecking his lips.

“He is my friend too, Steve” you said, pouring a
boiling water to the cup with black coffee. “It was obvious I’ll say yes in a respond to your idea” you
shrugged slightly. “I was and am still worried about Sebastian, our child.” you
lifted your chin and sadly glanced at Steve.

He rubbed his chin.

“I know… But he is working on those… Outbursts..” Captain sighed deeply. “Okay. I will move boxes
to his room. They are still blocking the passage through the corridor” he let
out a quiet giggle before he left kitchen.

You took a cup of coffee and came back to the living
room.

“Here you go” you put the cup on the table, smiling at
Bucky and taking a seat in one of the armchairs. “So… How are you, Buck? You
look magnificent” you smirked warmly, crossing your legs.

“I’m doing good lately” he took a sip of coffee,
humming in an approval of the bitter taste. “You’re a real coffee master, Y/N.”

You laughed shortly.

“Oh, thank you! Charming as always, Buck!” you winked
at him.


He woke up in the middle of the night.

For a while he was laying motionless on his back,
glaring up at ceiling.

Then he slowly got up. When he was walking towards
bathroom, he could feel a chill at his bare legs and torso. He had only his
black boxers on.

He entered the bathroom and carefully closed the door
behind him, trying not to make any sounds which could woke you and Steve up.

Bucky
stared at the scars lining his right wrist, observing it as if from a great
distance. Other days he would count them and their meanings, one for every time
they’d hurt him. Every time he hated
himself for lying to people he loved. But it was so easy, too easy for him to
promise them that he had taken the antidepressants. 
And now, feeling the scars beneath his fingers, Bucky could picture it so
vividly that he could feel each sharp intake of breath, each tear that slid
from his pale skin. As the bathtub faucet ran cold water over his neck and the
blade glowed crimson beneath his clumsy fingers, his head would tilt back, his
mouth open in silent agony but also perverse joy, because he knew that he
should not be feeling this, doing this, enjoying this as he did. And his anger
exploded with each swift movement of the razor, his pain that so often
destroyed him coating the floor of the tub in sickening contrast to the pale
tile. 
He remembered kneeling on this same floor, attacking his biceps until he could
take it no longer and fell back, exhausted, against the bathroom cabinet. It
was few weeks ago, when Steve agreed to doss him when he escaped the hospital
run by Shield.
The urge was so strong that he clenched his fists to keep from reaching for the
blade. It was so tempting. So painfully tempting. Bucky thought desperately of
his wrist again, aching to feel sadness for the delicate skin that he so
readily destroyed. He forced his fingers to stay on the shining tiles, but so
eager was he for the pain.. And he cut the skin once again, observing like a
little stream of redness was pouring down, mixing with a cold water at his
feet. He felt like his skin was burning under the touch of a cold razor, he
felt a bit dizzy because of the blood which was flowing out of the cut.
Bucky chuckled nervously, but it turned into breathless weeping.
He stayed here as long as he had to, until the urge was gone. Because he had to
fight this and he knew that. Because of the five words he kept repeating in his
mind, kept vowing, swearing to himself. 

I won’t draw blood tonight.