Captain Hydra by @eternal-life-awaits
eternal-life-awaits: My little version of Hydra!Cap
Awww! I love it. cute and dangerous ^^ Thank you soooo much ♥♥♥♥
~Cass
Tag: Steve rogers
PLEASE, WAKE ME UP.
WORD COUNT: 1300
SUMMARY:
Tony has a nightmare.
WARNINGS: none
AUTHOR: Killer raccoon
It was the quietest morning there’d been in
months, save the dull croak of the piano and the moaning of the floorboards
beneath the pianists tapping foot.
Tony stood behind the rows of white chairs,
stiff and unmoving, hands clasped tightly behind his back. Across the
quickly filling room, Bucky noticed him and attempted a smile, but immediately
his lips began to quiver and he turned down to look at his feet before Tony could
try to return the gesture.
Bucky, the only one in this room who fully
understood Tony’s presence here, the only man who knew what had been going on
behind closed doors. Because Steve had insisted he know, had told Tony that if
he couldn’t trust Bucky, then what were they even doing?
Tony watched Sam slide in next to Bucky,
place a hand on the man’s shoulder and sit him down, and then Tony was alone
again. Something he hadn’t felt in years.
The more people filed into the room, the
more sullen the mood became. Natasha sat on the other side of Bucky, and Clint
next to her, and Tony’s throat tightened in anguish as even Nick Fury,
accompanied by Phil and Maria, made their way down the rows of chairs. It
didn’t matter if nobody had the time for a full blown ceremony: they made time.
Sam had pulled him aside a few days ago to
assure him that he’d be welcomed with open arms, but Tony had his doubts, and
therefore kept his distance. He was somewhere deep in his own head anyway. He
didn’t even notice Pepper next to him, brows furrowed as she tapped furiously
at her phone, or Rhodey, dressed up in his navy blue suit, hands also clasped
behind his back, but in respect rather than anxiety. Tony knew he should have
been one of the men carrying in the… but of course he chose to stand
next to Tony, and in some lost part of his conscious mind, Tony appreciated
that.
But when the music slowed and died and what
was left of the hushed conversations among the room was cut off, Tony was sure
his heart stopped. He was able to keep himself composed, lips pursed and face
blank, all of his muscles tensed to keep from shaking. However, when the first
two soldiers stepped into the room, shoulders straight and hats in their hands,
and Tony knew what
would be following them, he fucking lost it. His breathing shortened, his head
swayed dizzily, and before he knew it, he was busting through the side door
into the empty hallways, straight towards the wall to keep him right side up.
He pressed his forehead against the cool, brick walls, gasping for air. Luckily
he was in the back, so he hardly disturbed anyone.
But of course, one man had noticed. One man
had dashed out after him, was now placing a hand on Tony’s shoulder, gentle,
but firm.
“Breathe."
Both hands were on him when he wouldn’t calm
down, and he knew that they learned this in the military, he understood, but
with the steadiness of his voice, with the serum, Bucky sounded and felt
too much like Steve, all those restless, summer nights when Tony was kept up
and he had been there for him, and it made everything worse. He couldn’t get
air into his lungs, his eyes spun in and out of focus, and he trembled
violently beneath the other man’s grasp. And who the hell was Tony to Steve, to
be comforted by the dead man’s best
friend. It was absolutely unfair to Bucky, and Tony felt sick with
guilt and selfishness. He turned around, gently pushing Bucky away from him.
"I’m sorry,” He wheezed, and
Bucky was shaking his head like Tony had no reason to apologize, but he
absolutely did.
Within the next few seconds, Rhodey was in
the halls, pushing Bucky to the side to get to Tony.
“Thank you, Buck, but I can handle
this.” He said.
“I don’t think you understand”
Bucky protested.
“The hell, I don’t understand.”
Rhodey snapped. “I know Tony better than he knows himself. I’m not stupid,
and I’m not blind.” He looked up to Bucky then, and his face softened
apologetically.
“Please, you are the last person who
should have to do this. Go pay your respects to Steve. I’ll take care of
him.” He said. Bucky nodded silently and turned to leave.
By then, Tony was catching his breath,
letting a warmth flood through him and calm his nerves, though his hands still
shook hard.
“You knew?” He asked quietly, and
Rhodey, despite everything else, managed a smile.
“You thought you could keep a secret
like that from me? I mean, honestly, Tony."
Tony huffed, just then realizing how
foolish it was to actually believe that he had kept the relationship between he
and Steve from Rhodey.
"He’s gone,” he breathed
suddenly, clasping a hand over his mouth in awe at what had just escaped, a
electric shock shooting through him as the words rang true, and then Rhodey was
pulling him into a hug, burying Tony’s face into his shoulder. Tony clenched
his teeth, refusing to cry, but breathed heavily through his nose, gasps
shuddering through his body as he held it all in, and Rhodey became the only
thing holding Tony in one piece.
Steve was gone okay, and did Tony ever
fully appreciate when he was around? Did he take the time to let him know that?
Looking back, he knew it had always been a frantic, desperate rush of fumbling
fingers and clothes strewn across the floor. Tony always thought they’d have
time to take their time.
Did he even ever tell Steve that he loved
him? That he was doubtlessly, unconditionally in love with him?
Did he even know at the time?
Tony shut his eyes tight, held on to Rhodey
tighter in horror as his knees buckles. He could feel his heart wasn’t going to
hold together, could feel the world around him crumbling, and when he managed
to open his eyes…
There was darkness. Tony blinked once,
twice, realized he was on his back. His hair, shirt, and the mattress beneath
him were all soaked in sweat. Tony shot up, the force causing an immediate
headache, and searched the room as his eyes adjusted to the dark. His heart was
pounding hard in his chest, fear in his throat as he chanced a glace at the
weight he felt against his hip. He sucked in a breath.
“Steve?” He croaked. There was a
small, groggy yawn and then two large, muscled arms that peaked through the
covers, revealing a half asleep, but definite Steve Rogers as he stretched,
shifted to turn around, and put an arm around Tony’s waste, pulling him back
down and against his own body heat. Tony’s sigh of relief came out as a choked
sob, and he pressed his nose into Steve’s chest in an attempt to muffle his
sudden sounds. However, that startled Steve completely out of sleep.
“Tony? He tried to sit up, pulling
Tony away from him and brushing his damp hair out of his face. "Tony, are
you okay?” He was pouting at him as Tony quickly regained control of his
emotions.
“No, I’m not okay. I love
you."
Steve stared at him, confused in his half
dream state, cheeks flushed with the heat of the summer night, hair sticking up
in a way that warmed Tony’s heart.
And then he was kissing him, the slowest
kiss they’d ever had, and Steve kissed his cheek, his jaw, his neck, his
shoulder. Tony felt dizzy as Steve took his hand and pressed his lips gently to
his wrist, the palm of his hand.
"I love you too."
Christmas gift || Stony smut
WORD COUNT: 2299
WARNINGS: smut
AUTHOR:
Killer raccoon
Tony and Steve are spending the holidays in New York – just the two of them. No Clint, no Logan – and especially no SHIELD interference. Tony’s made sure Jarvis won’t let anyone call in to the house. There’s a Christmas tree three times too big for the house sitting in the dead center of their living room, and Tony’s made sure there are far too many presents settled on top of the tree skirt underneath of it. And the billionaire’s even made sure to put lights up on the house, wreathes wherever he can, and he’s got sprigs of mistletoe hanging around in the most inopportune places.
There’s a reason for that, too. For the first time in Tony’s life, he feels at home for Christmas. He’s been through many holiday seasons, most of them spent drunk on the balcony of his Los Angeles house while Pepper yells at him. But this Christmas, he’s with Steve and they spend every evening sipping hot chocolate in front of their fireplace, watching Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph until they’re ready to stumble their tired asses into bed.
However, this particular night, Tony goes out for the day with promises that he’ll make it up to Steve for leaving him alone – and doesn’t come back until late. Of course, Steve can’t be mad at him though because the soldier knows it’s just Tony being Tony and there was a high chance that he was buying gifts. So instead of getting irritated, he simply greets his lover at the door with a kiss and a cup of hot chocolate.
“Good evening, my dear,” Tony says as they walk side-by-side in to the kitchen. The whole house smells delicious and when they finally step onto tile, Tony can see why. “You made cookies? So basically when they injected that serum into you, you became perfect. Supersoldier, baker, master chef, artist – is there anything you can’t do?”
Steve simply looks at him with a sheepish smile before rolling his eyes and murmuring for Tony to shut the hell up. Tony just grins before spotting the apron falling halfway off of the table.
“Oh, you did not wear an apron,” he says, eyes wide and round. When Steve blushes and looks away, his mouth falls open slightly as well.
“Well I wasn’t going to get cookie dough all over my clothes, Tony,” Steve says with a smile, moving his gaze back to his boyfriend. When he sees the expression on the other man’s face however, he laughs incredulously. “That seriously turns you on?”
“Well, the fact that you were wearing clothes kind of takes away from the image I had in my mind,” Tony starts, then grins. “But yes. If I’d come home earlier I would have delighted in pushing you against the counter and getting those clothes off of -”
“Tony!” Steve says loudly, and it’s at that very moment that the man in question notices his partner’s blush. And the pink is traveling fast down his neck where Tony knows it’ll flush his whole body. “Try one, I added a little more sugar then the recipe called for.”
“From scratch, really? Okay, Mr. Perfect,” Tony mumbles, sitting his mug down and reaching for one of the chocolate chip cookies. And as soon as he bites into it, he’s ready to pull Steve into the living room and fuck him senseless. Because he really is Mr. Perfect and his cookies are delicious.
“So,” Steve says after Tony’s moaned his approval. “How was your day?”
“Typical,” the other man chirps as they make their way into the living room, mugs of hot chocolate and plate of cookies in hand. “Braved the snow and did some Christmas shopping. Did I ever mention that I hate the snow? Because I really, really hate the snow.”
There’s a fire going in the fireplace however and as soon as they sit down, Steve’s pulling Tony into his lap so he can place his hands on his back, rubbing and kneading.
“I know you do, but I love it,” he laughs while the playboy sitting in between his legs murmurs in appreciation. “So what did you get me today?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out!”
“Unfair,” Steve sighs, but he’s got a huge smile on his face. And Tony lets it go, because he’s too happy to argue – good natured or not. “You remember what tomorrow is, right?”
And when Tony pretends to think about it, Steve stops rubbing his back and sighs.
“Of course I do, darling,” Tony laughs, and that’s when his boyfriend wraps his arms around him. “I couldn’t forget the day my life changed.”
The soft tone in Tony’s voice makes Steve press a kiss to his neck, and the shorter of the two men tilts his head just enough so he can connect their lips in a slow kiss. At Tony’s request, all the lights in the living room are dimmed except the tree and the television, and he turns around on Steve’s lap so he’s got one leg on either side of him.
“I love you, Tony,” the soldier sighs, smiling against his lover’s lips while they kiss. Tony’s sliding his hands under Steve’s far-too-tight flannel when he pauses to speak.
“I love you too Steve,” he murmurs, parting so he can give his lover a smile. Because a lot of the time, people don’t believe Tony Stark when he admits any feeling other than self-righteousness. But Steve Rogers has gotten past that little wall – not without work – but he knows it was worth it.
And that’s when Steve slowly pushes Tony down onto the thick fur rug, settling in between his legs as they continue to kiss. They only part when they’re getting dizzy from lack of air, while Tony’s got his fingers occupied by unbuttoning his boyfriend’s shirt. And when it’s finally off, Steve tugs at the other’s tie, crooked smile on his lips.
“I was never good at putting ties on,” he murmurs. “And I’m equally as awful at taking them off.”
“I got it,” Tony says, fiddling with the fabric and leaving his neck exposed so that Steve can lean down and press little kisses all the way up and down the stubble-covered skin. “I see what you did! You just wanted to get at – ah…”
And he stops because Steve’s got a hand in his hair and teeth are gently nipping at the skin directly behind his ear. Because it’s common knowledge between them both that that’s how you shut Tony Stark up. Soon, the billionaire’s tie and shirt are gone as well and there’s something very hard and very hot pressing against Steve’s thigh.
“Why do we wear clothes around the house? I mean really,” Tony starts, “There’s only the two of us and Jarvis here and Jarvis is an artificial intelligence so we should really just not wear clothes until we actually need to do something.”
“Tony,” Steve says softly, pressing his leg down and getting a lovely groan of appreciation in response. “You need to learn when to shut up.”
“And you need to wear that apron for me.” Is the retort he gets, while his partner grinds up slowly against him. All Steve can do is chuckle low in his throat while he slides his hand down Tony’s bare skin to his dress pants. “And to get these poor pants off.”
But before Steve can do just that, Tony’s flipped them and has Steve pinned to the rug underneath him. His hands are on the waistband of his lover’s jeans, unbuttoning and pulling at them.
“Up,” he murmurs, and Steve complies by lifting his hips so that Tony can pull the offending piece of clothing off. Tony’s pants come off quickly after, leaving them with only two sets of boxers between them – which the man on top gets rid of quickly. And after he grabs a bottle of lube from the coffee table drawer, he looks down at Steve.
“Is it my turn?” the soldier teases, the crooked smile back – which makes Tony’s heart flutter even if he won’t admit it. Once he gets confirmation, Tony’s on his back on the floor and Steve’s hovering above him, fingers slicked and gently probing at his boyfriend.
“Damn, Steve,” Tony gasps as a finger is slipped inside of him, making his back arch slightly off of the rug and a gasp to leave his lips. “Could you go any slower?"
Steve simply presses another of his fingers inside of his boyfriend to shut him up. Their lips connect once more after that, kissing languidly while Steve opens him up. And surprisingly, the only noise in the room is the teleivision playing How The Grinch Stole Christmas, and the crackling of the fire. That is, until Tony flips them over again.
"My turn,” he says with a smile that would make the devil blush, slicking Steve up and running his hand up and down his erection before slowly descending onto it. Which makes him moan and grasp at his lover’s chest. Until Steve draws him into another kiss, of course.
Their pace starts slow – gentle, so Tony’s moaning softly against his mouth and muttering his name when the part for air. But soon, as always, that just not enough for the playboy and he starts moving faster, up and down, sitting straight up so that Steve has to sit up to bury his face against his lover’s neck. And that, well. That just makes Tony go a little crazy.
While Steve nips and sucks and wraps his hand around Tony’s erection, the shorter of the two men is busy fucking himself until he’s moaning his partner’s name over and over again.
“I love you Tony,” Steve says, words soft and breathless. His arms are tight around Tony’s back, holding their bodies flush together as they writhe and pant.
“I love you too, Steve. Fucking,” Tony gasps, his eyes closed and teeth worrying his bottom lip. “Love you. Like you don’t even – you don’t even know.”
It’s not long before they both climax, gasping for breath and leaning against one another for support. And once they’re cleaned up, they crawl onto the couch.
“Goodnight, Tony,” Steve murmurs into his lover’s ear as he wraps an arm around him from behind. However he can already hear soft snoring.
Tony’s woken up with a cup of coffee – two sugars and one creamer – and a very naked Captain America wearing only an apron.
“See, you look lovely in just the apron,” he says sleepily, accepting the coffee and grinning at his boyfriend. He’s rewarded with a blush, a crooked smile, and a kiss, and he can’t help the bemused grin as he sips on his drink. “Alright, alright. I’m up.”
Sitting up slowly, Tony continues to sip at his coffee. He knows he should get dressed soon, because he has things to do but he just loves the sight of Steve in that damn apron and it makes him want to screw his brains out but not this early in the morning.
Steve perches himself next to him, drinking from his own mug and making life generally amazing for Tony. The fire is already crackling in the woodstove, and there’s snow falling gently past the windows and basically Tony just really feels content. For once in his life, there’s no paperwork, no Iron Man and Captain America, no Pepper or Fury or anything that would take him away from his happiness.
And blandly he realizes that he is happy. The thought kind of sends him reeling, because he’s not used to it and he doesn’t really realize when exactly his life changed or why he didn’t notice his lifting mood. He wonders if maybe anyone else noticed before he did. After sending his thought process into space however, he rests his head on Steve’s shoulder and sighs.
“Gotta get dressed,” he mumbles. “I have something for you."
"Oh?” Steve replies, looking down at him and raising his eyebrows. “Well then, let’s get a move on.”
“Only if you wear that apron again sometime in the near future. Maybe Christmas Day? That would be a fantastic present.”
“We’ll see.”
“Tease,” Tony says finally, shooting a smile at his lover. However they both rise once he finishes off his coffee, and walk their way into the bedroom to dress.
Two oral incidents and a wardrobe malfunction later, Tony’s leading them down into the depths of his workshop, smiling like the cat that got the cream the whole way while Steve silently wonders what Tony was about to get them into.
His thoughts are derailed when they walk into the Garage and Tony walks over to a new Audi sitting in the dead center of the room. The license plate reads STARK11 and that’s basically what makes Steve realize that it’s for him. And while his boyfriend walks right over to the vehicle and leans against the side, he kind of stops dead in his tracks and just stares.
“Happy Anniversary, Steve,” Tony murmurs, that small smile reserved only for Steve on his face.
“Tony, I… You didn’t have to -”
“It’s a nonissue, darling. Really. You want to take it for a drive?”
“This is way, way too much, Anthony,” Steve starts, and he can see the pout already forming on Tony’s lips. “Plus it’s snowing, and I’m pretty sure that thing doesn’t have four wheel drive. Sorry, sweetheart.”
“Well… We can at least break it in? I think there’s enough room for me to get on your lap in -”
But he’s cut off by Steve, who’s walked over and crushed their lips together.
“Happy Anniversary, Tony.”
My little treasure || Part I
WORD COUNT: 1261
WARNINGS: none
AUTHOR: Cass
Bucky was
washing plates after dinner when He heard doorbell.
He wiped his hands and walked to door.
In open door Bucky saw young boy. It was Grant.
He
literally was a mini version of Steve.
He was Just
a short blue eyed boy with short blond hair, He was really skinny, just like Steve
before serum. He was holding his strap from bag tight in his hands
Bucky liked this boy, He wasn’t so bad but He really wasn’t happy to see him.
“Morning Mr. Barnes… Is Andrea home? I want her to go on a walk with me.” Grant
asked softly, trying to look over Bucky’s shoulder, looking for Andrea
Bucky
raised an eyebrow Now He really didn’t liked it.
“Yeah… Sure… She is in her room… I will call her. Come in and wait in living
room.”
Boy nodded and slowly went to living room. Grant knew Bucky very well, He was
his father’s best friend but Bucky still was scary. Big guy with metal arm.
Bucky walked to stairs “Andrea! Someone’s here to met with you.” He yelled and
returned to kitchen.
Andrea
slowly walked downstairs and blinked looking at Grant
“Grant!” She yelled happily and ran to him quickly.
Grant smiled and hugged her tight
“Hey, I heard you are sick… what happen? Are you okay… I’m worried now.”
Andrea
smiled “Don’t everything is fine… I mean… Nightmares… they are back…. And… I’m
scared.” She said sadly and nuzzled to him.
Grant
sighed and hugged her really tight and stroked her back “Everything will be
fine… Maybe we should go on a walk? It will be good for you.” He said and
looked at her.
Andrea
nodded softly and looked at him “Daddy?! Can I go on a walk?
Bucky
looked out from kitchen and nodded looking at Andrea “Sure sweetheart.” He said
and looked at Grant frowning.
Andrea walked to Bucky and kissed his cheek “Thanks dad.” She said and then
grabbed Grant’s hand and pulled him behind herself.
In park,
Andrea sat on grass and sighed softly looking at the sky “You know… sometime… I
wish I could be normal…” She said quietly and looked at Grant. He sat next to
her
“Andrea… you are normal.”
Andrea smile and looked at her metal hand “Look at it… metal hand, who normal
have hand like this? I’m a freak… I feel like… the worst one..”
Grant blinked “Hey… and how I should feel? Look at me.” He smiled at her “I’m Sickly,
skinny, weak and My father is Captain America! The guy that is as big as your
dad, I look like my dad on his old photos… For me you are just unique, you
aren’t weird, scary or anything… just unique.” He said and took her metal hand
in his.
Andrea
smiled and hugged to him “Thank you.”
“You are welcome, now let’s go home, it’s getting late.” Grant said and got up,
Andrea followed him slowly.
During their way home They me group of girls that were always bullying Andrea.
“Hey There weirdo! Oooh! Look girls! one freak
found another one. Is he your boyfriend Freak?!” Leader of group asked looking
at Grant.
Andrea quickly hide her hand and looked down scared
“I asked you something freak!” Girl yelled at Andrea
“Hey! Leve her alone!” Grant growled.
Girl smiled “Oooohh… look He is a hero now.
Come on girls, let’s show him how it ends when you protect a freak with metal
hand.” Girl said and She and her friends attacked. Andrea tried help him but
girls without problem pushed her away.
After few minutes girls laughed “Let’s go girls…
they got their lesson. Better don’t try tell anyone.” Leader of group said to
Andrea and they all left.
Andrea quickly ran to Grant “Oh my god Grant…” She said quietly and took
his face in her hands “Oh my god… you look terrible… let’s go… We will help you
in home.” Andrea helped Grant got up and took him home.
Bucky looked at them “What the Fu…. Heck happened
to him?” He asked when Andrea helped Grant sat on couch
“Just… just help him dad… please…” Andrea said and quickly went to find first
aid kit. She brought it to her father.
Bucky sighed and started take care of every
scratch. Bucky sighed sadly, it was like past. Well, it wasn’t Steve… but Grant
looked just like his father especially now.
After few Bucky looked at Grant “Okay…. I did as much as I could.” Bucky got up
from couch and walked to Andrea.
“Thank you, Mr Barnes… but you really didn’t
had to.” Grant said and slowly got up.
Bucky smiled and ruffled Andrea’s hair “Let’s
take your hero home, I’m sure his dad and mom are worried.”
Grant sighed sadly and nodded slowly “You are
right Sir.”
Bucky took both kids to car and took them to
Steve home.
It was small white house, Steve was sitting on
porch, waiting at his son to return home because it was getting late.
Woman walked to him and rubbed his shoulder. It
was his wife. Beautiful, blue eyed young woman with short blond hair “He is
with Andrea… I’m sure Bucky will bring him home.” She said softly to Steve
“Martha… I don’t care. You good know what I
think about her… Maybe Bucky isn’t Winter soldier anymore… but She can be. We
don’t know what they…” Steve stopped talk when he heard Bucky’s car.
He quickly got up form chair and went to. He
froze when he saw Grant “What the hell Barnes! What you little monster did to
him?!” He yelled.
Bucky frowned and looked at Steve, hiding Andrea behind himself.
“Dad… Don’t. She did nothing.” Grant said.
“I don’t care… I good know you gonna protect
your ‘Friend’. Go home now, Martha… take care of him.” He growled and looked at
his wife.
Grant quickly went to his mother “Mom… it’s not
her fault… The girls… I was protecting her.” Grant said. Woman nodded “I’m sure
you were… let’s go home…” She said and took boy inside.
“I hope you are proud of your girl Barnes.”
Steve said frowning
“She did nothing…” Bucky muttered looking at
Steve.
“Oh really… look at Grand… You saw what
happened? Maybe she is lying to you and Grant protect… this… little child of
Hydra.” Steve said pointing toward girl.
Bucky frowned and grabbed Steve’s hand “Don’t
you dare…. Call her that.” Bucky growled.
“Or what…. She gonna hurt me with this little
metal hand?” Then Steve could feel how cold metal hit him right into stomach.
Steve fell onto his knees holding his stomach tight.
“Not her metal hand… but my, Rogers.” Bucky
said “You think you are better? You changed a lot… and not in good meaning.”
Man picked up girl and sighed “I know that She didn’t did anything bad… She is
my girls.” Bucky smiled and looked at Steve over his shoulder “If for you she
is still a child of Hydra… than I’m still The Winter Soldier for you. Till the
end of the line…” Bucky laughed “I think our line ends here, pal.”
Bucky sat girl on her seat in car and then took
driver seat and drove away.
Steve growled when he got up “Fucker…” He
muttered and went back inside.
After few minutes Andrea looked at Bucky form
the back seat
“Dad…” She asked quietly.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Bucky asked and looked at
his daughter in the mirror.
“Who Am I…?” Andrea looked at him in the
mirror.
The last goodbye || Bucky Barnes One Shot.
Word Count: 1290
Warnings: sadness, character’s death.
Author: Beast
“…
Y/N, please, you good know I need to be there.”
And as
always his voice was lovingly but yet firm. You raised your head up, looking at
your reflection in a mirror. You were in a bathroom, trying to gather yourself
back in a row. Your eyes were hurting from crying, your cheeks were swollen.
You hated it. Everytime when you have to be left alone in a house, you were
turning into a mess, trying to stop him by all costs. But he never let you to
do it. You knew he loved you the most, like no one else on this world. But he
was a soldier and he also loved his country and was always serving for its
safety.
“C’mon
doll, I don’t wanna say goodbye in that way.”
Obviously
he didn’t want. You were his princess. His everything. And he was suffering
just like you when you both were torn apart, at the two ends of the Word
You
splashed your face with a cold water, then you dried yourself with a towel.
Before you had left the bathroom, you took few small breaths.
And he was
still there, just like you had left him.
Standing in
the middle of a living room, dressed in a black combat pants, black combat
boots and that stunning dark blue coat with two rows of buttons.
You sighed
sadly. “Please.. Listen to me, James..” it was one of that little
moments when you were calling him by his name.
He tried to
not show a kind of a confusion which was crawling on his face, but he failed.
“Y/N, really, do you trust me?” he asked. You nodded without a
hesitation. “I do.”
Bucky took
few steps towards you and as he stopped few centimeters from you, he reached
his hands and took your face in them. “So now listen to me carefully,
doll” brunette asked Simple
You nodded
slightly, looking into his beautiful blue eyes.
“You
are the most important person in my entire life. I love you more than anything
else. My love towards you is unconditional, you know it. But I’m a soldier,
Y/N. I’m obligated to serve for my country. And nothing and no one can change
it, doll. I know you’re scared. So am I, but it’s my duty and I have to follow
orders” he slowly swallowed, sighing shortly after. “I will be back
soon, doll face” his thumbs were slowly stroking your cheeks while he was
talking to you.
You let out
a quiet whimper and put your hands on tops of his rough palms.
“I
know, James.” And you knew. He was a good man and he loved his country.
And you couldn’t just say “no.” It would be too hard for him to leave
when you two would be resentful at each other.
You took a
deep breath and stroked over blue material at his shoulders. “Be careful,
tiger. Get ‘em and come back to me..” you clenched your fingers at
material of his coat, closing eyes for a second to hide tears.
He leaned
down to you and kissed slowly each of your eyelids. Then he hugged you tightly
to his chest and you both were standing like this, listening to each other’s
heartbeats.
Bucky
finally kissed the top of your head and he said how much he loves you once
again, before he took his backpack and threw it over his shoulder. Then he left
your house, stopping for a second to give you a look.
“You’re
my everything. No matter how far I am, I am always thinking of you. And I will
always love you and protect you, no matter what..” he said before he left,
quietly closing the door behind him.
You quickly
went to the kitchen and you shifted a curtain aside to look after him.
He put his
backpack to a trunk of a huge Jeep and before he got in, Bucky turned around
and looked at you once again.
You put
your hand on your chest, waving at him with second one. He waved back and blew
you a kiss.
And after
that he was all alone with the other guys from his unit. Guns, gear, and
sadness everywhere. The reality of the separation was quickly becoming real and
the six months in front of him before he would be home again seemed like an
eternity.
Bucky was
sitting at the backseat. His hand wandered to the pocket of his jacket. He
blinked and he pulled out a silver necklace with a pendant. Bucky opened it and
he smiled softly. He was looking at your little picture, it was taken by him on
your first common anniversary. Bucky sighed and put necklace on his neck.
“I love you, Y/N” he mumbled under his breath, looking through the
window.
Five weeks
later you heard a knocking to the door. You got up from the couch and walked to
open the door.
You held
your breath back when you spotted Steve Rogers. “S…. Steve..?” you
asked with trembling voice. “Morning, Y/N…” he whispered, crumpling
his hat in his hands.
You were
observing him with wide opened eyes. “Steve…” you leaned your hand
against the door frame. “It’s about Bucky..” his voice was a mixture
of fear and sadness. “We.. There was an accident during our operation…
I… I couldn’t do anything else..” Rogers was stammering. “Steve..
Come in, we won’t be talking in the open door” you moved aside, making a
space for him.
Steve
entered your house with a hesitation. You led him to the small living room,
where he took a place on the leather couch. You sat down next to him, your
heart was pounding in your chest. “Steve.. Just tell me what had
happened..” you asked him, putting your hand on his shoulder. “No
matter what you’re gonna say, I’m gonna take it..”
He
hesitated for few long moments which seemed to be an eternity to you.
“There
was an accident.. We were chasing Hydra.. We were in a train, a fight had
started…” Steve was fretful while he was talking.
You felt
like your body started to tremble. “Where is James..?” you simply
asked.
“He
fell off the train.. I am so sorry, Y/N… I am so so sorry…”
You
automatically covered your mouth with both hands and second later your started
sobbing loudly. “Oh my God… Oh my God!!” you yelled with all your
might.
Steve
wasn’t waiting, he slowly wrapped his arms around you, taking you in a hug.
“It is
hard for me too, Y/N… I know… Hush… I know..” he was whispering,
stroking over your trembling back.
“God…
Steve! I won’t rub along without him!” you were crying loudly.
“Shh… You won’t be alone with that.. I promised him if something will
happen I will take care of you..” Steve was rocking you in his strong
arms, calming you down. “Everything’s gonna be alright..”
Three days
later there was a funeral. A symbolical one, because Bucky’s body hasn’t been
found. His coffin was wrapped in American flag.
Steve was
standing next to you, trying to give you as much support as he only could.
Later,
after the ceremony, Steve walked back to the car, you asked him for a few
moments alone.
Walking in
the direction the main gate of the cemetery, you were thinking of events
from last few days. And about your last talk with Bucky.
You stopped
for a while at the little knoll and you turned around to look at the grave of
James. You sighed sadly, wiping the single tear from your cheek.
“Always,
James. I will always have you in my heart. Rest in peace, my love..”
My collaboration with @whatthefoucault for the Captain America Reverse Big Bang 2017 @capreversebb. !!! The fic can be found on Ao3 !
It’s my first time participating in a reverse big bang and it has been lovely !! Thank you so much @whatthefoucault for your enthusiasm and for this adorable domestic fic.
Also I’ve had the pleasure to work with two authors for this event so stay tuned for another fic with nearly the same but not completely identical pic !
The chronicles of the winter || Part X
Part II || Part III || Part IV || Part V || Part VI || Part VII|| Parta VIII
|| Part IX
continuation of imagine
Word Count: 3059
Warnings: smut, unprotected sex,
strong language, blood and injuries
Author: Beast
A/N: I’m incredibly sorry fellas for
a such long delay! I got a lot of stuff to take care of and tbh I wasn’t really
into writing Chronicles for some time. But now, with a huge thanks to my lovely lady and my friends, I decided to make this chapter. I hope you’ll enjoy it
as much as I when I was writing it. And here’s what I wanna announce: only two
chapters left. Chronicles will have 12 chapters in all. I hope you won’t mind
them to be a bit longer then ever before.
And for a smut scene, if some of you, my dear readers, would be interested, I
was listening to song made by talented polish vocalist, Kasia Moś. I leave here a link to this song, just in case ♥
Enjoy! 🙂
Steve
had been asleep when he heard the heavy footsteps followed by the door opening;
at first he thought it might have been Emily, but then he realized there was no
way she would ever make that much noise. He had slipped out of bed silently,
shield retrieved from the bedside and brought into a defensive position. A
million scenarios ran through his head, none of them pleasant, especially once
the sharp scent of blood reached him.
To
say he’d been surprised when he saw Bucky in the doorway was an understatement.
He caught sight of the pistol the soldier held once he pushed the door shut
behind him. He’s
going to shoot me, had
been his first line of thought, and not a moment later he felt extremely guilty
for immediately jumping to that conclusion. His body had eased a bit the moment
the pistol was dropped, his own shield lowering and eventually dropped as well.
There was only a moment’s hesitation before he edged forward, closing the gap
between them. He stopped a few yards away, not wanting to make him feel
cornered.
“Bucky?” he spoke softly, tone gentle and
light. His heart skipped a beat when the soldier’s head lifted and looked to
him, but his hope died when he saw his face. His eyes were greyed, dull and
empty and so very tired. The second he saw his legs buckle Steve was right
there, catching him before he hit the ground. He’d expected him to struggle, to
lash out and fight, not to just lie there limp in his grasp. It’d scared him
more than when he’d found his throat clasped in that metal hand. The amount of
blood covering his friend was terrifying; who knew how much he could spare to
lose in his state.
It’d
taken him all of two seconds to get the blood-matted hoody off of the assassin,
exposing a torn shirt and a devastating wound on his shoulder. He dimly
recalled seeing a similar wound on a soldier Bucky had picked off of his back in
the war. A sniper in the city was alarming, but not as surprising as he would
have liked.
“D-don’t do this to me, Buck” Steve was
practically begging, fingers numbed with shock pressed against the wound to the
soldier’s back in a desperate attempt to stem the bleeding. His other arm
gently held him up, cradling him against his body as he tried not to dissolve
into fearful panic.
Is
Hydra after him, or is it Robrax?, Steve thought to himself, trying to
calm down.
Steve put as much pressure as he dared on the wound,
suddenly very conscious of his strength. Bucky looked so delicate like this,
and he wasn’t sure if the bullet had caused a fracture.
“Emily!” Steve yelled. “Em! I need your help!”
Redhead woman stepped into the room and was about to
say something, but she only covered her mouth with hands.
“Buck…” silent whisper left her mouth as she quickly got to her knees besides
him. “Oh God, Steve, what’s with him!?”
“He was shot” Captain said simply, looking around. “I need something, like
material.. We need to stop the bleeding” he ordered coldly.
Girl nodded slightly getting up. She ran to the bathroom and took two towels
from the hangers.
Minutes seemed like hours, but eventually the bleeding slowed. Steve scarcely
cared that his clothes were now stained with it, just relieved that the mortal
danger was now diminished. All towels were completely soaked with Bucky’s
blood.
Captain didn’t waste any time trying to bandage the wound. Getting up and
leaving him was not an option, not even for a moment, so he cannibalized his
own shirt into a makeshift wrapping. He removed the soldier’s shirt first and
then folded up some of the fabric and pressed it to the injury. The bullet’s
possible presence in the wound was dimly acknowledged, but he didn’t have the
skill or tools to safely extract it. He would treat it proper later, but for
now his main focus was to keep the bleeding at a minimum. He broke down his
shirt into strips of fabric, knotting it together and using it to secure the
fabric pad to the wound.
“Steve…” Emily was whispering on and on, her soft hand placed on his shoulder.
“Oh my God… We can’t lose him.. I can’t..”
“Hush” Steve threw her a brief glance, to take care of Bucky’s wound shortly
after.
Throughout the rough medical treatment Bucky hadn’t so
much as twitched. Steve could feel him breathing, and a quick check told him
his pulse was stable, but slower than he would have liked. The serum they had
injected him with might not as been as effective as his, but it was doing a
fine enough job keeping him alive.
“You’re doing great, Bucky” Captain was
fully aware that he likely couldn’t hear him, but it made him feel a little
better to encourage him. He was sure he hadn’t heard a kind word directed
towards him in decades, and the thought made his heart ache. “You’re gonna
be fine, Buck, I promise. Me and Em will take care of you..” his voice
hitched slightly, hands trembling as he gathered the assassin up into his arms.
He considered moving him to the bedroom but decided
against it. Instead he placed him carefully on the sofa, onto his left side so
that his breathing wouldn’t be obstructed and his wound easily reached.
“Emily, can you gather up some medical supplies, some
blankets and a clean shirt, you can find it in my bag” blonde man looked at
redhead woman.
She obeyed. After some moments she came to the little living room and handled
stuff to Steve.
Then Steve hit the light switch. A small lamp flickered on, and the scene it
revealed drew the blood from his face.
The floor was smeared with so much crimson that he doubted the stains would
ever lift. His spare key was abandoned on the floor, near the pistol that Bucky
had dropped earlier. The ruined clothes he’d removed still lay on the floor
next to the towels; he’d be sure to dispose of them carefully. If Hydra really
was who had hurt him, then they would no doubt be looking for any sign of him.
The light cast a horrible realization of just how awful Bucky looked as well.
Now without his shirt, Steve could see every little bruise, every wound that
covered the assassin. His stomach turned in disgusted horror at the painful
past each scar, each little mark told. Old injuries from knives, bullets and
who knew what else were etched into his skin, telling a history devoid of peace
and filled with violence.
A washcloth was produced along with a bottle of
disinfectant, wetting the fabric with it before he went to work on some of the
smaller wounds. He was silently thankful for his unconsciousness, as he was
sure there would be no way to do this had he been fully awake.
The soldier twitched slightly under his fingers as he
worked on an old, infected wound on his side, curling into himself before
letting out a pained whine. The former SHIELD agent hesitated at that, unsure
if he should continue. If he was feeling the disinfectant that meant he had to
be regaining consciousness. If he woke up with him hovering over him, covered
in his blood and with no memory of how he got there, well, Steve wouldn’t blame
him in the slightest if he lashed out. He bit his lip, thinking for another
moment, before he continued to clean the wound, taking care to be a bit
gentler.
“It’s okay, Buck, I promise…” he tried to
soothe, even if he couldn’t hear him yet. “You’re safe, you’re safe,
you’re safe…” he repeated it like a mantra as he finished with the wound,
placing a pad of gauze over it and securing it with a little medical tape.
He didn’t dare touch the bullet wound now that he was capable of feeling pain,
and he was also rather sure he’d need specialized help with it.
Blood
has been cleaned away, Steve dried his hands.
Emily was sitting next to Bucky, holding his hand and stroking it gently.
“It’s them, right?” she asked simply, not paying an attention to look at Steve.
“Hydra?”
He cleared his throat, living the room.
“Probably.”
Steve
went to the little cluttered kitchen and he opened a fridge, pulling out a
bottle of water. He reentered the room and unscrewed the bottle.
“We
need to keep him hydrated” he mumbled, getting on his knees next to the sofa.
Emily
took the bottle and slowly lifted Bucky’s head up. Then she carefully helped
him to take a simple sip, then another and another.
“What’re
we going to do now, Cap?” she asked, her long red hair has fallen on her face.
“I
don’t know… I don’t know…” he sighed sadly, rubbing over his temples. “But it
seems we are not safe also. If they had attacked their OWN SOLDIER, it means
they won’t have any problems to try to kill us either” he shrugged slightly.
Emily
nodded in silence, still stroking Bucky’s palm.
“I
knew.. From the very beginning.. That it will end like this. I hadn’t any other
choice, Steve” she whispered and her voice turned into little weeping. “I had
to join them… I HAD TO..”
Steve
got up from the floor, putting hands at her shoulders.
“No
one of us had” man muttered.
Two
days had passed very quickly.
It
was a really rough time for Steve and Emily, because they had to look after
Bucky and look for a safe hiding place at the same time.
Emily
was spending her time with former assassin while Steve was looking for a good
place and transport.
And
he managed to found something.
From the outside this house looked old, but wonderful.
It has been built with cypress wood and has walnut wood decorations. Small,
squared windows have been added to the house in a mostly asymmetric way.
The house was equipped with a large kitchen and one bathroom, it also had a
comfortable living room, two bedrooms, a small dining area and a roomy garage.
The building was square shaped. The house was fully surrounded by overgrown
wooden overhanging panels.
The second floor was smaller than the first, which, in combination with its
placement, creates an original look.
The roof was high and slanted to one side and is covered with black roof tiles.
A few large windows let in just enough light to the rooms below the roof.
The house itself was surrounded by a modest garden, with mostly grass and a few
small trees.
It was a perfect place to stay for a while until Bucky’s wounds will be healed,
and Steve’s too.
Emily was slowly getting ready to take a bath.
Looking at her pale, slim body covered with a shirt and fitted leggins, she
felt a mix of sadness and distaste. She hated herself for things she had done
to people.
“I hate you” she whispered toward her reflection in the mirror. “I want you to
die, tæve.”
Suddenly she heard the door being
opened and shut quickly. Her heart beat faster as she could hear steps crossing
the corner.
She wanted it for so long… And she couldn’t deny it.
Since the day she helped him with his wounds, she was craving him. So badly.
As she finally saw Steve’s smirking
face, she let out a loud gasp.
“You shouldn’t be in h..”
“Shut up” he interrupted her by pushing her against the wall and locking his
lips with hers. He could feel her resist at first, but he used his tongue to
open Emily’s lips which was when she gave in and kissed him back. They were kissing
each other hard now as his hand squeezed her boobs hard.
After some time, he finally let her breathe. Still gasping for air, she stuttered.
“W-what are you doing?.. What are WE doing, Steve..”
He grinned at her and gave her a soft kiss while taking off her leggins.
“Taking what’s mine, baby.”
He slipped her shirt over her head and threw it on aside, where it’s quickly been
joined by his own shirt. She was still leaning against the wall, still a little
hesitant but definitely turned on as Steve can tell from her glowing cheeks and
her rushing eyes.
“Steve…” she bit her lower lip, looking hardly into his eyes.
She good knew it was one of the
moments, when he wasn’t himself at all. Now he was Captain Hydra, not kind
and polite Steve Rogers. Sometimes it was just like this, that he was loosing
his personality for several minutes or a bit longer. And he was turning into a
mess. She hated such moments, but she had to deal with it.
And now, with that thick sexual tension in between them, she wasn’t even about
to complain. Because she wanted him. She wanted Steve to fuck her senseless
until she would be begging him to stop. She simply needed that.
He grabbed her hand and guided it down his abs into his boxers. As she felt his
hard cock, she let out a loud gasp and pull hand back quickly, but immediately
regaining her confidence, she slided hand down again and firmly grab his cock. She
noticed just now that he had undone her bra while he began to tease her hard
nipples with his warm tongue, circling around and flicking against them.
She began to stroke his cock slowly, as she looked into his eyes, mumbling.
“We should stop, what if HE come in here?”
He laughed quietly, quickly shove his hand into her lacy panties and thrust two
fingers into her already soaking wet pussy. As she started to moan loudly,
Steve immediately covered her mouth with his other hand and whispered into her
ear.
“Can you shut the fuck up now, baby? Unless you want Bucky to catch us now.”
He slipped Emily’s leggins off and turned her around,
pushing her front against the cold tiles before slapping her ass and rubbing her
wet pussy from behind. Steve saw that she was dripping down her leg, so he kneeled
down behind her and start kissing his way up her inner thighs, licking up every
single drop on the way.
Having reached the top, he circled his tongue around the outline of her little
pussy, causing even more wetness. Steve could feel Emily’s body shivered as he
started eating her out.
He digged his tongue deep into her and moved it up and down slowly but firmly. Simultaneously,
his thumb rubbed across her clit, as he heard multiple soft moans escaping her
mouth.
“Steve,
I’m gonna cum.. she moaned.
He stopped licking immediately
and came back up to her face.
“No. You’re gonna cum when I want you to, understand?”
She
suddenly looked worried.
“He must be
wondering where I Am.”
Steve slapped her ass and shoved her against the wall hard.
“You should be worrying about me, nothing else. I’m gonna fuck you now and
you’re gonna be a good girl.”
He took off his pants and threw them into the corner.
As Emily took his cock into her hand and started to get on her knees, he
grabbed her by the neck and pulled her back up, holding her face right in front
of his.
“None of this bullshit, baby.”
He pushed her into the corner between the cold tile wall and a sink and lifted
up one of her legs.
Steve stood in front of her and quickly pushed his hard cock into her dripping pussy
without wasting any time.
Emily’s arms locked around his back and as he started thrusting himself into
her, her nails digged into his butt, causing him to thrust even faster.
As a loud moan tried to escape her mouth again, Captain quickly suffocated it
by kissing her hard. He could feel her body losing control with every increase
of pace. All her sense was his scent, his sweaty, muscular body pushing against
hers, his throbbing cock pounding and stretching her tight little pussy,
hitting her inner walls.
Steve covered her mouth once more as her moans turned into screams.
He felt her body
shivered, then clenched hard around his cock for a second before shaking
uncontrollably again as she bit one of his fingers that was covering her mouth.
Steve pulled out his hard cock and once again Emily tried to get on her knees
to make him cum with her mouth but she almost fell over, still having very
little control of her own body.
He
grabbed her quickly and picked her up.
“Did I say we’re
done?”
She looked a little scared as she saw the burning hunger in Steve’s eyes. He
grabbed her hair and pulled her to the sink, bending her over the counter. He slapped
her butt hard, before he shoved his thick cock into her again from behind.
This time was much quicker.
Steve immediately started to pounding as hard as he only could, while pulling
her head up by her hair so she could see him fucking her in the mirror.
After roughly several seconds, he felt the familiar shivering and clenching,
this time causing him to cum inside her pumping pussy as well.
“FUCK,
STEVE!” she couldn’t hold it any longer and screamed Steve’s name
loudly, not caring if Bucky will hear it.
Steve waited till he felt that every drop of his cum has been shot into her,
then he pulled out his cock. He turned her around, kissed her hard one last
time and smiled. “Good, baby. Now I know what Bucky meant telling me you’re the
rapture” blonde man rushed to put his clothes back on, then he simply left the
bathroom, fastening his belt, leaving Emily shaking and naked.
Trembling all over her sweaty body, she looked after him, then she quickly
closed the door to bathroom and got under the shower.
She felt his semen dripping down her thighs.
Emily allowed the cold water to stimulate her mind and body, pulling her out of
the blissful lethargy after a fulfillment in arms of Captain Rogers.
THE SILENT SHOUT || PART I
A/N: my
best friend has been diagnosed as borderline. Currently I have an occasion to
spend a lot of time with him, I am also a witness of his anxiety and panic
attacks, of his rage outbursts and incertitude, which is overhelming him on and
on. Looking at him one day a thought came up to my mind: if BPD can be caused
by some traumatic experiences, maybe Bucky was suffering to similar symptoms
also. After all things Hydra had done to him, I suppose he might likely suffered
from this disorder. That’s why I decided to make a little series of bpd!Bucky. The story, all names, characters, and incidents
portrayed in this production are fictitious. Based on a true events.
Words: 1624
Warnings:
self harming, panic attack, bpd, angst, bpd!Bucky, sad!Bucky, depression,
blood, graphic description of violence, swearing
Author: Rouge
It has been a week since he moved to your house.
From the very beginning you were more worried than
happy about that idea of Steve. Despite your positive attitude towards Bucky,
you good knew he may cause a lot of problems.
But on the other hand you understood what Steve has
been going through for last couple of years. Notorious uncertainty, sadness,
sorrow. He was a mess and you wanted to do anything to comfort him.
When you heard that Shield finally found Bucky, alive,
you felt a deep relief. It meant the end of Steve’s mental pain. It meant that
since then everything could have been seen only in a bright colors.
When Steve came to you with his idea of taking Bucky
to your common house, you didn’t even try to hide your dissatisfaction. A lot
of arguments had taken place then in between two of you. But finally Steve
managed to melt your heart and you said yes.
However, keeping the good of your child in your mind,
you ensured Steve that if something wrong will about to happen, you will move
out, taking baby with you. He agreed on that little deal without blinking.
You had to reconcile with a fact your man was sharing
his love at three, not only at two… It obviously was hurting you, sometimes
Bucky seemed to be Steve’s number one, but you had to accept it. They were
friends since childhood, they grew up together, they were fighting together,
arm to arm. In such situation you could do nothing. You didn’t want to hurt
Steve by your listlessness at Bucky’s problems. You knew that man went through
a lot in his life. Like Steve, Bucky Barnes was only a pawn in that brutal
game. Like everyone of you…
When you met him for the first time since 5 years, you
were shocked.
He looked incredibly good, some bruises still could
have been seen at his muscular arm and neck, few scars on his collarbones, a
swollen jaw. But he looked good as for someone who has been tortured for
months.
But something had changed and you easily felt that.
His eyes.
There were no more happiness in them. That beautiful
blue eyes of his, which were glowing with a mischief sparks formerly, now were
dark and bereft the will of life.
“Y/N! Can you hold the door please!?” Steve screamed
aloud.
You got up from the leather sofa in living room and
quickly went to open the door. As soon as you did, you saw several boxes and a
bit of Steve’s bangs above them.
“Do you need help?” you asked amicably, opening doors
as wide as you could.
“No, dear, just hold on them” Steve said. Slowly and
carefully he passed through the threshold and put boxes down in the hallway.
You were observing him for a while, then you sight
fell on someone standing in front of the door.
James Bucky Barnes.
Standing there dressed in a large black leather
jacket, dark jeans and grey shirt, with a black hat on his head, Bucky slowly
raised his chin and looked briefly into your eyes.
“Hi, Y/N” he gave you a small smile, a little wince
appeared on his face.
“Bucky” you smiled happily, whispering his name and
taking step back to make a space for him. “Come in, come in.”
Hesitantly he walked inside and then you closed the
door behind him making sure they were locked.
“Follow me” you gave him another smile and you led him
to the large living room.
It was the biggest room in Steve’s house. One wall had
windows and door leading to a big balcony. The room was painted in light orange
mixed with lime. The floorboards were made of pear tree wood that had a nice,
warm shade. There was a brownish carpet with an abstractive pattern in the
middle of the room. Steve had fitted your common living room with stylish furniture.
There was a big dark brown leather corner sofa on the left. It had light brow cushions.
In front of it, there was an ebony coffee table with sculptured legs and edges.
There also were two brown armchairs. The table were placed on the carpet. Next
to the sofa, there was a tall lamp which metal parts were coloured patina gold.
Opposite to the sofa there was a big plasma TV standing on a stand similar to
the coffee table. Below the TV there was a black DVD player. Right to it, an
ebony case with clouded glass doors could be found. There also was a small
showcase where you put some books, films and wine glasses. Above the sofa there
was a wide painting showing a stunning sunset on a seaside. The windows were
decorated with a short white delicate curtain and fantasy yellow drape. On the
windowsill, there standed a flowerpot with an orchid. Next to it there was a
picture frame with a photo made on your vacation in Dubai. The room was really warm and cosy.
“Do you want to drink something?” you asked politely
when Bucky sat on the sofa.
“Coffee, please…” he looked at you and took his hat off, placing it next to
him.
You walked to the kitchen and put a kettle on a stove.
Suddenly you felt a pair of familiar strong hands at your slim waist.
“Thank you…” Steve whispered directly into your ear,
leaning down to kiss your cheek from behind. “It means a lot not only to me,
Y/N.”
“I know, Steve” you gave a slight nod and slowly turned your head towards him
so you could reach his rough lips and kissed them.
Steve hummed happily at the unexpected kiss, his grasp
got tighten around your waist.
With an agile movement you slipped out of his arms,
pecking his lips.
“He is my friend too, Steve” you said, pouring a
boiling water to the cup with black coffee. “It was obvious I’ll say yes in a respond to your idea” you
shrugged slightly. “I was and am still worried about Sebastian, our child.” you
lifted your chin and sadly glanced at Steve.
He rubbed his chin.
“I know… But he is working on those… Outbursts..” Captain sighed deeply. “Okay. I will move boxes
to his room. They are still blocking the passage through the corridor” he let
out a quiet giggle before he left kitchen.
You took a cup of coffee and came back to the living
room.
“Here you go” you put the cup on the table, smiling at
Bucky and taking a seat in one of the armchairs. “So… How are you, Buck? You
look magnificent” you smirked warmly, crossing your legs.
“I’m doing good lately” he took a sip of coffee,
humming in an approval of the bitter taste. “You’re a real coffee master, Y/N.”
You laughed shortly.
“Oh, thank you! Charming as always, Buck!” you winked
at him.
He woke up in the middle of the night.
For a while he was laying motionless on his back,
glaring up at ceiling.
Then he slowly got up. When he was walking towards
bathroom, he could feel a chill at his bare legs and torso. He had only his
black boxers on.
He entered the bathroom and carefully closed the door
behind him, trying not to make any sounds which could woke you and Steve up.
Bucky
stared at the scars lining his right wrist, observing it as if from a great
distance. Other days he would count them and their meanings, one for every time
they’d hurt him. Every time he hated
himself for lying to people he loved. But it was so easy, too easy for him to
promise them that he had taken the antidepressants.
And now, feeling the scars beneath his fingers, Bucky could picture it so
vividly that he could feel each sharp intake of breath, each tear that slid
from his pale skin. As the bathtub faucet ran cold water over his neck and the
blade glowed crimson beneath his clumsy fingers, his head would tilt back, his
mouth open in silent agony but also perverse joy, because he knew that he
should not be feeling this, doing this, enjoying this as he did. And his anger
exploded with each swift movement of the razor, his pain that so often
destroyed him coating the floor of the tub in sickening contrast to the pale
tile.
He remembered kneeling on this same floor, attacking his biceps until he could
take it no longer and fell back, exhausted, against the bathroom cabinet. It
was few weeks ago, when Steve agreed to doss him when he escaped the hospital
run by Shield.
The urge was so strong that he clenched his fists to keep from reaching for the
blade. It was so tempting. So painfully tempting. Bucky thought desperately of
his wrist again, aching to feel sadness for the delicate skin that he so
readily destroyed. He forced his fingers to stay on the shining tiles, but so
eager was he for the pain.. And he cut the skin once again, observing like a
little stream of redness was pouring down, mixing with a cold water at his
feet. He felt like his skin was burning under the touch of a cold razor, he
felt a bit dizzy because of the blood which was flowing out of the cut.
Bucky chuckled nervously, but it turned into breathless weeping.
He stayed here as long as he had to, until the urge was gone. Because he had to
fight this and he knew that. Because of the five words he kept repeating in his
mind, kept vowing, swearing to himself.
I won’t draw blood tonight.
You are not alone || Stucky x Reader
Summary: After your family’s death you found new way to relieve all your bad emotions… even when you know it’s a bad thing to do.
Word Count: 1764
Warnings: self harm, blood, deatch [mentioned]
Author: Cass
You lived
with Steve and Bucky for almost eight years now. During this time many bad
things happened.
For example you would find out that Steve returned from mission almost dead… or
you would be a witness of one of Bucky’s panic attack. Then watch him how He
slowly close himself on Steve and you. You always were positive, You believed
in boys and you were stronger for both of them.
But one day your life was ruined by one phone. It was exactly two weeks ago.
~Two Weeks
ago~
You were
cooking dinner for boys, Y/F/S was playing in background when you happily
walked around in kitchen. It lasted until you heard phone. You thought that
maybe it’s Steve or Bucky, So you quickly went to pick it up.
“Hello?” You
said happily.
“Good morning, miss. Is it… Y/N Y/L/N?” Voice asked. It was man, but not your
Steve or Bucky. Right now you were really scared.
“Yes… It’s me…
but something happened?” You asked and started shiver softly.
“My name is
Alex Radu I’m calling from the Police… I don’t have good news from you miss.”
He said.
Your heart
stopped, you had no idea what to do. You were worried, scared. You wanted just disconnect
the call and ran away.
“W…. What happened…”
You asked but your voice just broke.
“I’m sorry
Miss… But I need to inform you that. Your parents and your brother are
dead.”
You felt
like you gonna pass out there, You only shook your head and tried stop tears “B-But…
But… How… What… What happened…?”
“Truck hit
their car… all three Death on the spot. I’m really sorry miss.” Man said
Next thing
that you remember was sitting on floor crying like a little child.
Steve and
Bucky entered home smiling as always but their smiles faded when they saw you
on floor and smelled burned food.
Steve
quickly put his shield down and went to you when Bucky went to kitchen to make
sure that nothing is on fire.
“Doll… Hey
doll… What wrong? What happened.” Steve asked and sat next to you. He gently
wrapped arms around you and pulled you into hug.
Bucky
quickly joined and also hugged you, He kissed your head and took your hand in
his metal hand “Y/N you know you can tell us.”
You only
looked at them, your eyes were red and a bit swollen “M… My parents… and… Tom…
They… THEY ARE DEAD! I LOST EVERYONE I’M ALONE!” You got up and yelled with
tears on your cheeks. Then you just sat back down. Bucky and Steve looked at you in shock, You
never yelled at them.
They both
hugged you again. Steve kissed you head “Shhh… Doll. You are never alone… You
have us.”
“Exactly,
little one… You aren’t alone.” Bucky said and kissed your shoulder.
It took a
lots of time to take care of everything. It was hard… Hard to know that you are
alone.
But boys were with you no matter what, they supported you whole time.
~Now~
Maybe all formalities
were hard but the most hard thing was to hide your pain and sorrow. Boys were
sure that you are fine. That they helped you and you feel better but little
have they know.
One night
you woke up from nightmare, you looked around in bed, Steve was on your slept calmly,
wrapped in blanket.
Bucky on your right, He was hugging his pillow, muttering something in his
sleep.
You looked
at them sadly and got up from bed, trying your best to not woke up one of them
(Or with your luck both)
You walked
to bathroom and slowly unbuttoned your shirt. You took it off and looked at
your darkest secret.
Your whole
arm was covered in small and a bit bigger cuts, some were already old and some
still fresh but this wasn’t only place… your whole shoulder, some places on
your chest and even your abdomen was covered in the same cuts.
You started
to self harm yourself not long after that news, You had too much inside you.
Too much pain, too much sorrow… Too much sadness. You don’t wanted die, because
you couldn’t leave boys alone but you wanted do something that could help you
with this emotions.
It helped
you but it forced you to move away from boys. Making love, showers, swimming
together. This all just ended. You knew that boys were worried but they
respected your decision because they think that you are really deep in Mourning
You sighed
softly and looked at yourself in mirror, you looked terrible but it was your
only way to relief. Steve and Bucky would never understand you.
You took
out small razor blade from cabinets, you looked at yourself and found some
places that weren’t marked by metal yet.
You took
deep breath and put blade on empty spot. Cold feeling made you feel better but feeling
of cutting skin made you even more happy, you whimpered at pain and looked at
mirror.
You could
see the line, it become more red with every second then blood started run down
your skin, soft smile appeared on your lips, you bite them hard and started
make more cuts.
After few minutes you looked at yourself in
mirror than you started cry.
You cleaned yourself and made sure to put bandage on your fresh wounds, you
calmed down, dressed up and returned to boys but you forgot to completely clean
your “Crime place”
At Morning
when you still were in bed Bucky was in bathroom and Steve was in kitchen.
Bucky
looked into cabinets and blinked when He saw that some razor blade were missing
as well as bandages.
“Steeevee?!
Did you maybe used my razor blade? Or bandages?!” He yelled.
Steve went
to bathroom and looked at Bucky “Do I look like person that use them? “ He
asked frowning softly.
“No… but
they are missing and only I use them in this house.” Bucky muttered.
Steve
rolled his eyes “Maybe you used them and you don’t remember this?”
Bucky
sighed “Steve, I’m old but I don’t have Alzheimer.” He growled “Maybe Y/N used
them.”
“Yep!
Because our girl needs to use your razor blade and bandages.” He said and
looked at him.
Bucky
sighed sadly “You know… I don’t like one thing. They disappear almost every day…
both things, nothing else… but today I found this.” He said and showed Steve small
white towel with stains of blood “And I’m sure it’s not yours.” Bucky looked at
Steve worried “It’s also not mine… So, if it’s not mine and it’s not yours than…”
“Y/N..”
Steve said worried, looking at his friend.
Both of
them went to bedroom, Steve sat on bed and gently kissed you cheek to wake you
up
“Hey, doll. Sorry that we wake you up but We need to ask you something.”
“Hmmm…” You
muttered and opened one eye to look at your boys.
Bucky showed
you towel “I found it in bathroom… Do you wanna tell us something?” He asked
You quickly
woke up and sat up “Um.. I… I cut myself yesterday. I think I forgot to put it
in basked… I’m sorry boys.” You said and made your best fake smile.
Steve and
Bucky looked at each other, they didn’t believed you but they decided not to
press you.
Rest of the
day was calm but Steve and Bucky watched you, trying to find something. All
they could see was your problems with moving.
Since this
day both were checking everything. Razor blade and bandages were disappearing
every day and you had bigger problems with moving.
One night when
You were sure they are asleep you got up and went to bathroom to start your
small sick “ritual”
Boys watched you as you left bedroom
“I don’t like it…” Steve whispered
“Let’s follow her..” Bucky said and quietly got up from bed.
They both
followed you to bathroom, Steve slowly opened door.
You were in front of mirror, without your shirt. They looked at your body in
shock.
“Y/N!”
Bucky said in shock “What… What…” He said and looked at you.
You slowly
turned around and looked at them scared “Steve… Bucky… I can explain… I just..”
“Don’t even
say a word. We want see you in living room in a minute.” Steve said frowning
and wet to living room, Bucky followed him.
You could
feel tears in your eyes they had to never find out… never.
Steve was
walking around living room nervous, Bucky was sitting on couch watching him “Dude
calm down.
Steve wanted say something but then He saw you walking down the stairs.
You looked
scared at Steve and sad a Bucky.
Bucky patted his legs “Come here, doll.” You smiled at him softly and sat on
his laps. He stroked your cheek and kissed you gently. Steve sat behind you and
took off shirt from your shoulder, He gently kissed it.
Both looked at you with their big puppy’s eyes “Y/N why? Why you did this to
yourself? Why… Why we know nothing.” Steve said sadly.
You looked
at them and told them everything.
Steve and Bucky were shocked.
Bucky took
your face into his big hands and looked into your eyes
“Listen… We know it’s all hard but even now, you aren’t alone. You have me… you
have Steve and all your friends. We all were so worried that you become so
closed on us. Y/N we two love you too much… you know how it kill us… that… that
you do such a thing to yourself.”
“He is
right, doll. You are important to us. We love you and We will do everything for
you. We and friends… just please don’t hide stuff like this from us, okay.”
You looked
at them and started cry “I promise… I won’t do this again… n-next time I… I
will talk with you or Bucky.”
Steve and Bucky smiled “Good girls.” Bucky said
and they both hugged you tight.
~Few
months later~
You felt
much better. You wounds healed.
You good knew that boys are always with you.
Boy and all your friends, Everyone was making their best to make you feel
loved.
You lost
your real family, but now all your friends and your boys were your family. They
never let you forgot your parents and brother but they also never let you feel
alone or unloved.
This was
the most important to you were loved and you felt happy again.
Gif: Not mine, this time I haqve no idea where I found it.
A/N: Hey guys! It’s Cass here. I wrote this short story to show you all something. So… As you all know, I’m Beast gf. The thing is that this is Distance
relationship. For a long time I thought that He is fine, that He only have some
problems in work and that’s all but a day ago… He showed me what He did to himself.
The thing that I saw was terrible.
He also told me about his terrible thoughts… thanks god Me and rest of team
were able to pull him away from those thoughts by this small story, I want to
show you all that no matter what happen, you always can find people that will
be ready to support you and try to help you. That you are never alone. You need
to trust your friends or family, if not then than you should find someone who will
listen to you and try help you.
Take care guys and remember, no one is ever alone.
Gif: I have no idea. I just found it on my computer.
Paper Panda 
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